I haven't read my Bible in too long to even remember. I haven't gone to church in over two months. I feel like I'm slipping away from God. I do still pray, but it seems like no one is hearing my prayers any more. I know God always hears us when we speak to him, but I feel like my sins are blocking my prayers. I really need help, but I don't know where to get help from. I've always been the one in my family that led everyone else to Christ. I got my sister into the church, I led my parents back onto the right path. And I even got my cousin to come to church a few times. Now I'm the one that needs help and it seems like no one really wants to help me. My dad just says, "You need to go to church." But I can't go to his church. I mean, I love the preacher, but there is no youth, no singles, just children and older people classes. My sister says, "We can go to so and so's church". But she doesn't know the name or the place of the church. I don't know. I know that I should rely on others to bring me to God, but I should rely on God to help me through this time of my life. Sometimes I scar myself when I listen to the things that I say in my head. Why would I think that? Well, I don't know what I thought writing this would acomplish, but I think, basically, I just needed to say it. You know? Whatever....