Genesis 21:1-2
the LORD visited Sarah as he had said and the LORD did to Sarah as he had promised. And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age at the time of which God had spoken to him.

this is an example of God fulfilling a promise; making a longed for dream come true.

Genesis 22:2
He said, "take your son, your only son, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which i shall tell you."

this thought hit me like a ton of bricks today: God may threaten to destroy the thing he has promised me, in order to see where my true allegiances lie. Earlier in Genesis, God came to Abram and said "I am your shield, and your very great reward." God was Abram's reward. not a son, not wealth, not a wife, not a home. God was his reward.

i tremble at the fact that the King of Eternity is giving himself to me every moment, and that sometimes i am helplessly blind to it. my heart is numb to it, and i want so many lesser things. i want the gift more than the giver. I pray for open eyes and ears to see it and repent. I love the things he gives... and i want a heart that wants him more than those things.

Honestly, as a single guy, i look forward to marriage... but i know that God is jealous for my heart and will not share its deepest devotion with anyone. i sense that there are miles yet to go in my heart. and i know that God loves that part of the journey. i'm filled with joy as i type that... he is the reward. he is the means and the end.