When do the words "I told you so" apply to a person? Is it at the moment that the words are expressed or is it when their eyes are opened by circumstances?

What happens to "listening to the still small voice?" That "voice" is supposed to guide a person in and out of "danger." There are many dangers out there that it seems to steer a person from but not necessarily the danger heartache. But in that case, how can one listen? No one likes heartache. It's the one thing that can render a person hopeless. We as people try to avoid it with everything that we can. I guess sometimes we turn the small voice off. I need that small voice again...

The cloud has become stagnant and filthy. The smog fills my lungs and blinds me from seeing where my road bends next. I am at a place of dependancy at the worst time in my life. Everything inside me is screaming because I need something, something that makes me cringe with fear and uncertainty.

Where is this road taking me because frankly I want to get off at the next exit. Those lights beam on me as if to recover something from my weakened state. The wear on my tread is getting thin and my emotions can't handle it anymore. I held out until now with the hope that one day it'll all get better but I feel as though I am lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm literally at the end of me. I can't go on anymore. If this was all to show me what was in me, mission accomplished. I'm more hideous than I thought. Is this why love keeps dodging me like a bullet?

So those who said "I told you so," mission accomplished. I don't say that flipantly. I just acknowledge that you were right.

Where do I go from here? I'm not sure. My heart is hungry and it hurts. I have desires to serve fully and to travel, taking many pictures along the way. I want to finish what I've started but I have no idea where that will happen. One day I will be standing in Africa or Rome, or even Brazil, taking in all of the sites with my lens, or just listening to the bustling culture around me. I desire a different lifestyle that molds many important elements into one package that speaks to the world. Until I discover how I will do that, I'm gonna wait...something I hate doing.

I just want Him...