Life won

Conforming will make your life easier. Right? Say what you think so I can conform to your opinion. Let me bend over backwards to please your whims. And the whims of your peers. After all, you know better, you conformed and now project your conformity upon those who had the nerve to not conform, not to follow your standards.

And just where did you get those standards from? What do you base your values upon? Did you ever stop to think why this is bad or that is good?

Do you REALLY have the intelligence to find out the reasons? Yes, I know. It is not YOUR fault you were made to conform, you are just a human. You can't go on swimming against the tide for-ever. Yes, rather pathetic, weak human being for not thinking for yourself, but human nevertheless.

Besides, now you get to HATE those who are not yet conforming. The hate that grows from your environment, from the pressure of your peers and the ones you hold superior. You were kicked, now you get to kick others just the same. Smart move. Real smart.

You are such a shining example of a human being.

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Passion Paradox

Passion paradox is a theory about relationships, and proposes that "romantic relationships" always involve an element of imbalance resulting from one of the persons involved being emotionally somehow more committed to the relationship, on other words "more in love" than the other.

Its rather sordid theory by Dean Delis. What are romantic relationships anyway? Are relationships really based on emotions? I dont think that many are.

Isn't "love" actually a disease of obsessive compulsive sort! Even if you really like someone, why would there otherwise be feelings of loss when they turn you down, or emotions of missing the loved one? Or whatabout being so jealous you actually have ideas of revenge?

Wouldn't a healthy person be able see these as madness?

Wise men say, only fools fall in love. But wise men never fall in love

So how are they to know?

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Macbeth

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Q-theater is running Macbeth. I was at the first night (kenraaliharjoitus in finnish). Oh the evil of hearts...

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, hey thats just like my blog!!

The same goes for any illusion, the idiot being your eyes, gods forbid you believe your eyes. The signifigance of illusion? Zilch, unless you project some on it.. As we do when watching a play like Q-teatteri's Macbeth.

Is Macbeth a romantic play? In a way I think it is, even if it portrays a tragical transformation of Macbeth's heart, the sad fate of the innocents, and the folly of men. Ultimately it seems to convey the message of inevitable triumph of good over evil, at least through Q's interpretation that I saw last night. Triumph, or perhaps the turns of the tables...

O woe thee, weak of heart!

The play was play'd in finnish, of course, but despite that I did manage to pick up the 'classic oneliners', so I suppose it was well translated (by Matti Rossi). Some turns of fate were vague to me, somehow haphazardly appearing, as if from fog into darkness. I would have illustrated the storyline more, but then again, I am like that, not a director (who at Q was Antti Hietala).

Macbeth elaborated by Elina Knihtilä was quite the man! I also liked Jani Volanen's gleeful and almost half-witted king Duncan.

A chord of contrast was somehow struck between the classic form of Shakespeare's play and dialogue, and the novelties conjured up by the group of Q, such as the stage down on the middle of two audiences, lights and video-projections as stage set (part of it, stage set by Annukka Pykäläinen, videos with Ville Hyvönen), and the brutal, animalistic quality of movement conjured up by the choreographer (Arja Tiili).

I suppose moving parts of the stage and stage set are quite common, there was just one that was a creche and a castle and the kings throne. One thing that specially struck me as were the video-editor-like transitions from darkness to light built with the lighting system (by Sirje Ruohtula).

Ah I feel so cultured now!! And... evil...

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Police against painting, not rapes?

The police of Helsinki. *sigh* I dont know what to say. I know one thing. Whoever directs their resources is either completely misguided, totally incompetent, or just purely politically oriented.

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Need I remind you about the time when there were 2 dozen wanna-be anarchist-demonstrators, and the police showed up, again in full-riot gear, sectioning off whole central downtown Helsinki. They cornered thousands of ordinary citizens who were just trying to spend their Saturday night. Then they put the anarchist-kids in a bus, tied them to the seats with zip-ties and left them there for hours. After they hauled them to the station, along with two representatives of the parliament, one of which was in a wheelchair, I believe, they actually charged like 3 people. A knife and a steel pipe in the backpack, or similar charges.

I am not saying that a knife isn't potentially evil murder weapon, just that the resources were misdirected.

Or whatabout the graffiti kids who painted some trains. Again, riot geared cop-army was needed? Rrrreally? As if the Security Police filming all the demonstrations wasn't enough? Security Police, SUPO, failed to increase security, but then again, to me that sounds just another bunch of police not willing to take on really bad people, doing useless fake deeds instead.

Looking at events lately, last couple of years, the Police of Helsinki seem to be interested in two things:

Playing the oppressive police-state enforcers around in riot gear, and playing wild Miami Vice Drug War-games.

And not quite 'by the book', either, as demonstrated by the Semi -case, where the drug squad police are accused of making people buy them drugs - people who wouldn't otherwise have done that. Oh and never mind that during the investigation, the investigation wasn't carried out by the book. And yeah, the ministry of interior clerks destroyed the tapes on the case. Nothing wrong here. Just keep watching Big Brother -series on the telly.

Somehow it looks to me like that leaves awfully lot of money out from basic street patrolling, at least judging from the news headlines. Early this morning a woman was raped in downtown Helsinki park, a few hundred meters from the central railway station or the presidential palace.

Do I have to patrol the streets myself to prevent rapes on the streets of downtown Helsinki? How difficult a task is that? Too difficult for the police of Helsinki, it seems.

Makes me wonder, though - will Jukka Riikonen, the leader of the Helsinki police force, be going into politics any time soon...

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I always confuse things...

I work on the computer a lot. Often I want to smash the compu with my fist and throw it out the window. Basically every day. Twice. Well, at least twice, usually four times a day.

Most of the time it is me who has made a stupid mistake. And I get angrier and angrier at the STUPID COMPUTER for being so faulty and erroreanous! Well, until half an hour later I realize I was the one who was mistaken. Some wrong click somewhere. Wah! But the funny thing is, the next day I do the very same thing again.

But I feel that often I recognize my mistakes, and me as the source. Experience has taught me this. So I often hold back when I get angry over somebody elses mistakes, just in case it was actually me who made the mistake. I guess its saved me at work a hundred times already - being able to swallow my rage.

A few other dozen times it has made me shut up and do nothing when I should have said something.

A friend of mine threatened to shoot me last week. Well, not really a friend actually, as friend has to be someone you can trust. Aside from threats to kill me over nonsense, he also sent text-messages that I originally sent to him, to another friend. A few days later, last wednesday I think, I had a talk with this another friend, and found out.

It may sound funny, but to me someone getting angry and threatening to kill me over stupid stuff is nowhere as bad as breaking the trust of private message between me and them.

To be angry is an normal human emotion. Everybody gets angry sooner or later. That is easy to forgive. But to actually violate trust is same as to destroy trust - something that cannot be repaired.

Time to move on, and let this thing go out of my head.

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Finnish police are abusing their priviledges

Earlier this year, the criminal police have been denying access to material under investigation from the state appointed prosecutor investigating abuse of investigational powers. Last week the police censored the W3-consortium pages (Yes, the w3.org). Not the first time. (edit: earlier I wrote it was violent threats at a government minister. I had read too many sensationalist press articles that didn't even tell what had actually happened. My bad.)

The other week there was a demonstration for the right to create graffiti, against a Stop Smears-project. Controversial, you think? The finnish police showed up in riot gear, practically outnumbering the demonstrators, hiphop-people with paint. Not the first time.

Never mind the shootouts between the bike-gangs! Where were the riot-geared valiant security-police when the unnamed bike gang had their 200 member parade through the city? I did not see one single brave cop. Hell, lets intimidate the treehuggers, those professional criminals might actually fight back!!

The police have been given extensive priviledges in laws and statures, and they can without any real evidence apprehend people and jail them for weeks - as has happened to me.

My grandmother was a judge. She taught me things about justice and law. And the justice system I see is not just. The leaders of these enforcers seem like populist cowards who almost dare to tackle demonstrating teenagers.

Result: The police use their priviledges like elephants in a china shop.

Censorship. Intimidation. Abuse of investigative 'freedoms', abuse of technical wiretapping.

Hundreds of riot police cornering a few dozen demonstrators. Allegations and investigation into the police ignoring the drug-related and other crimes of their 'acquintances' and informers, framing people. None of these have happened only once, or only twice during the last 2 years.

Does that sound like the national police of an democratic free nation to you?

For a couple of years I did not want to believe our birds-nest was somehow corrupt, or wrong.

I believed that people on the average would stand for the liberties. But I can no longer ignore the facts. I feel I am not free here. In day-to-day life I have to face people who do not stand for the values of freedom, right to privacy or security in the way that I do - because they never had such? And people who will abuse their priviledges just because they have a bad day - on YOU.

*I* have rights too... or is it already used to have?

In 2006 during the election day the police randomly "apprehended" me while I was walking on the street few blocks from my home, and I was handcuffed and finally taken to the police station.

Despite the facts:
- I was able to prove who I am, I had no weapons or contraband on my person, in my person, I was not drunk, hell, I was not even ugly and I look pretty normal, there were no warrants or police notices for me (how could there have been!), and finally I did not resist in any way. Still, my constitutional right of freedom was violated, I was somewhat brutally handcuffed and put into police van.

It was not an official "arrest" - there was nothing to arrest me for!

So, it was just an 'apprehension for investigation.' They did not let me go after searching me, not even after searching me the second time. Nor after they took my ID, I told them who I was, and where I live and that I had lived there for almost a decade now.

By finnish law, there has to be suspicion of severe crimes before your freedom can be taken this way (handcuffing). Narcotics, violent crime, stuff that will get you years in prison, stuff I would never want to or even could be involved in. Also by law, the officers actually would need a *reason* for suspicion. The reason for apprehending me on a public street, and severely violating my personal freedom was: "we thought you were coming from a drug apartment."

"Thought" is all the police needed to lock me up!

Lose all freedoms. No phone call, no nothing, not even moving your hands to warm them in the cold sub-zero air of a finnish winter day.

Given all the priviledges for technical wiretapping and what not that the police have been given, I think this was just an excuse for the officers in question. Sometimes I feel these guys were just playing "Cops and Robbers."

It used to make me angry - I used to think: "These are the guys are supposed to protect me from all the evil drug lords and peodophiles and other monsters. Instead, they are now the monster to me." Then used to think: "but hey, they were just doing their job."

At the time I thought this was just an isolated incident, and a human error, like the police told me, so my alarm-bells did not go off. I was somewhat relieved that I got out in time to vote. And I quickly went and voted. I don't think it was such an innocent mistake anymore.

But what if their little 'mistake' had taken just a little bit longer? What if I had resisted, as many reasonable people who feel nobody has the right to limit their freedom could have in a similar situation? Aside from the right of freedom, which I did lose, for a while, I would have lost my right to vote. A close shave.

All of the priviledges so they can use tax-money to exercise their arbitrary measures of violence, undeserved, abused. Yes, direct or indirect violations of freedoms. Is this why I pay taxes? So they can play cops and robbers despite having practically unlimited rights to search and wiretap you, me and the neighbours dog!! Censor the internet. Intimidate the kids who just want to paint?!?

Is this a game to these guys? It sure is not to me. Now as it is, do I have to be afraid of these people who have had 2 years of education with power to access any facet of my life, my personal information, databases on my person, my home, even my body?

I want to scream: This is not freedom! This is not a free country! In Russia, I could at least pay them off. In USA, I could just pay the lawyers fee's. Yes, I have food. Yes, I have home, even if the homes here are so expensive I have to spend 30 years of my life working full time to pay for just a few room apartment. Yes, I have a job.

Yes, I might be able get medical care, only so far I have not been able to as many times I have been in need. Maybe if injured fatally. In fact, I saw my "personal doctor", as she is called for the first time in 10 years!! I am usually in good health because of good diet and exercise, though. Is this why I pay taxes? So that the police can abuse my person, and the doctors can ignore my health?

But if I have no freedom, am I more than an farm-animal.

A broiler in a broiler factory.

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I have had enough.

It just is bad. There just is nothing good about the people I know in my personal day-to-day-life or the place I live in. I guess since the last band I was in broke up it has been like this.

Helsinki is a horrible place.

Death threats from a guy whose ex-girlfriend (5 years ago!) I went for a jog last saturday. He says is going to shoot me. They broke up 5 years ago!! And this girl is like 'hushhush, he has been sending me threats earlier, just ignore it'. Sigh. Somehow that is just not ok with me. Just not healthy in the head. It was ok earlier today but I just cannot ignore this. What is wrong with these people!!!!

I just want to go somewhere where people actually have a heart, and a brain, and strenght to make wise choices in life. Sad to say it, but she doesn't seem intelligent enough to take care of her own life, why would I want to be involved in something like that?

And this guy? Can you believe it, I have know this guy for over a decade. Narcistic infantile fantasy is what this guy lives in. Yeah, he seems to enjoy sending people threats. All the while pleading that he has psychological problems, how dare you do this to him? I so pity the kids who will get him as a art teacher once he finishes school.

YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK.

I have so had it with these people who have had everything since birth, and have managed to turn their lives into meaningless shit, and behave like spoiled 13-year-olds.

I have had it. Tomorrow I will leave.

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City Of Helsinki advocates violence to stop graffiti-teens, graffiti teens return violence

I just accidentally crossed paths with a demonstration against the total ban of graffiti and the dubious city project around it.

Lots and lots and lots of police in riot gear and less than 200 demonstrators, mostly teenagers. What are the police doing wasting our money, I was thinking? Like what are these kids going to do? Spraypaint us all to hospital? Good grief!

The city project dubbed "Stop Töhryille" has already hired private security companies, whose empleyees have used violence against kids spraypaingting trains and buildings. This is how important clean concrete walls are to finnish people? I doubt it.

If it means the city council has to hire people to brutalize youngsters, they do it? If it means the riot police have to follow around and outnumber any demonstration that is against it, they will command the riot police to show up, in great numbers? Looks like it.

Well, the kids had the same feeling, evidently, and spraypainted some police-cars and threw bottles at the police.

I was going to say a lot about this nonsense, but hey, its nonsense. If people are just PAINTING things and they have to riot, or use violence to do that, somethings already lost.

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Blah blah blah

Blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa bla-bla-bla-bla blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa bla bla. Blaa bla-bla-bla-bla blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa blaa. Blaa blaa blaa blaa.

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Tired of life

Nothing is wrong. I am in good health. I have paid off all my loans. I don't really own anything, either, though. I am smart, so I get by ok. Everyone feels so distant. And I am also tired of most people. How they dwell in their little world, their set of problems. How the non-important, meaningless things seem to have become most important.

Most of the time the only thing that gives me positive feelings about myself is my day-job. Another thing is music. Mostly listening to it, lately. I cant seem to get anything to work for me for making or recording music. Everything seems to have turned into chinese shit, or software shit. So frustrating it makes me cry. Should have bought a multitrack tape recorder instead of this electronic crap.

And whats even more frustrating: women. I guess there is something really terribly wrong with me, because all women I meet are materialistic, self-centered, lying hedonistic products. Maybe that reflects my personality... Or maybe they think I am an easy target for abuse. Or maybe I have brain-damage that I am not aware of and only nutters are ok with that.

Or maybe I just am not very compatible with reality at-large. And actually, sometimes I think it hates me too, with a nasty kind of impassive sadistic glee. I used to think I am smarter that most people, but that just is simply and clearly not the case.

After all, if I was so "goddam" smart, I would get all the hot chicks and could get the fuck out of this depressing dump (home) full of alcoholic bums (Helsinki). Just one hottie and a bedroom more would suffice for a while, though. The bedroom I could manage if I would submit myself to 20 years of work, and loans and loan interests. Is that really what life is made for?

But would it really suffice? Something is terribly wrong with my lifestyle, however safe and ordinary it seems. To work around 9 and codecodecode and leave around 5. Bus, metro. Tram. Store. DVD. Google. Nice, shirt on 70% discount. Shop. Home. DVD. Pronn. Sleep. Coffee.

If I only knew what could make me happy. It doesn't seem to be anything I can buy. Some women make me happy for a short time. But is that really happiness or just hormones... I'm not depressed either. I am tired of being depressed, and I refuse to be any more depressed. But is faking happiness any more or less real than any other emotion? Just fucking ape shit.

Its such a self-centered little rant. I fucking am full of shit sometimes. I mean as if all this was more than just lame surface ripples. Just playing with the little emotions cause life is too easy and drama is needed. Yeah, thats how low I have sunk. Drama whore, emo bitch, whine rant...

Or maybe its just a deteorating disease like Tourettes or cancer in multiple metastasi.

Or maybe its the KGB.

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Banned from Ubuntuforums! Not funny!

I would apologize on the forums but I am banned. I realize not everyone finds crazy stuff like that funny at all. like the mods at buntuforum. I guess the spirit of the mob caught on to me.

Yeah. I am crazy in the head(s).

Talk about burning bridges.

EDIT (2.9.2008):
Here I was taking it all on myself. First ubuntu-zealots harassed me for saying out loud that Pulseaudio doesn't work (I made a poll which showed only 30% of users have a working sound). Then admins banned me after I got angry at the mob trying to censor me. Today I finally realized its not my fault. I also realized it is not my loss - other than the time spent trying to solve the faulty audio problem.

I could have used that 3 months making music instead.

It's their loss. I doubt they have that many people of my caliber.

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··¤[ Supreme Funk Force ]¤·· Spring 2008 pre-emptive playlist attack.

··¤BLAMMO!¤··

·¤##KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!#¤·

You must surrender and DANCE!!! No Stopping!!! Keep Rockin'!!!

` `' ' ""Funky May Force Bee-Phunk You"" ' ' ´ ´ http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=060652738294FA9C
Chocolate Milk - Sweet Heat
S.O.S. Band - High Hopes 1982
The Beginning of the Sound Of Succes Jam & Lewis Era
no stopping that rocking - instant funk
Zapp & Roger - Computer Love
Bill Summers - We Call it The Box
George Clinton - Atomic Dog
Bar-Kays - "Shake Your Rump To The Funk"
Ronald Jenkees . Improv on a new beat! Had too much fun on this one. X2
The Bar-Kays - Smiling, Styling, And Profiling
Bar-Kays - Traffic Jammer (1981)

-=#| Funk Freak April Jam Master Plan |#=- · http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=24ED1E51A8712FCB
Bar-Kays - Shine
Mass Production - Turn Up The Music
freakshow on the dance floor
Lakeside "TURN THE MUSIC UP" 1983
De De - S&M (Sexy Music - Rated X)
Atlantic Starr - Freak-A-Ristic 12" (1985)
Dynasty - I Don't Wanna Be A Freak (1979)
Juicy - Sugar Free
Keni Bruke - Risin' to the Top
Dexter Wansel - Life on Mars

-+= Funk Freak Classix =+- http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=DE1D1FD52BF448A7
General Caine - Girls
Bootsy Collins - Good-n-Nasty
Eazy-E - I'd Rather Fuck You [by Mic]
boosty collins singing i'd rather be with you
Snoop Dogg - Sensual Seduction
Bootsy Collins - Munchies For Your Love
Bootsy Collins - "Be With You"
Axiom Funk - If 6 was 9
Herbie Hancock Ready or Not
Stevie Wonder - Don't You Worry 'bout A Thing

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Low Pressure Saturday

I really should be working on my own blog and the framework it runs on. It will never be finished otherwise. And if it wont be finished then I wont be able to move on to starting next series of op-art-work.

Oh well. Why would I need to be so efficient anyway. Wont do me any good anyway, might do to some others, but for the most part those who it might do some good are narrow-minded, selfish and self-centered people. As most people are.

I was going to write self-degrading words in the previous paragraph but somehow detoured into the world of world-criticism. What should I call it. The Zone Of Reflecting On The World. And I believe I know what is the core reason for the endless stupidity of most people.

People are ignorant about the consequences of their actions.

And I dont mean just the immediate consequences. I mean considering every single eventuality or possibility. The whole chain of consequences. The tree of potential, as it may be in the abstract world of words.

After all, if you can think, and reflect, in effect - if you have the ability - does that not oblige you as a person to use that ability. Unless you have chosen to be a person of rotten morals?

Ah moral, and ethics. Well. I dont care for rules. But you have to have principles of your own.

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wide form plat form flow

siis todellakin, mitä sitä haluaa. onko se itseasiassa olennaista? milloin omia haluamisia pitäisi pitää olennaisina? I has no i-d.

en ymmärrä miksi ilmoittelevat tunnetiloistaan netissä? niinku esimerkiksi myspacessa "mood:" ja sitten teksti ja hymiö. Ja sit ollaan niin jotain mieltä siellä siitä. Eikö sen pitäisi mennä ihan jotain muuta kanavaa pitkin kuin netissä. fucking attention whores.

no joo harmi jos ei oo muuta kanavaa. onkohan yksinäisyys kamalaa? siis kuolemaksi. yksinäisyys pitäisi kaiketi oppia hyväksymään. kyllä se varmasti on hyvästä. monille. tietty jos ei ole edes tuttuja niin se on jo aika kamalaa.

tää ei nyt oo ollenkaan sellasta sanavirtaa mitä tästä piti tulla. enempi tämmöstä ihme 80-lukulaista kolumnistis-tsygologististä ihmettelyä. tietty vois yrittää prosessoida asiaa tässä lisää.

Että mitenkä sais jotenkin virtauksen päälle, oksulääkettä? gulgulgulgul. Yöääärgh!! Hitto krapulahan toimis kans mutta ei näin lievänä olomuotona. Kun nyt. Vai eikö sitä vaan kehtaa kirjottaa.

vittu mikä satunnainen matkailija. markus kajo.

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