"Hello, thanks for coming in, please take a seat."

The interview and mental tape begin.

"I am stupid", begins the recent grad. "So much that I'll walk into Dailey the other day with an idea I knew would work, I mean you should see it, great creative. Almost sold it."
"What was their impression?", asks the HR manager.
"I don't know, probably being in the U.S." the fresh creative tap smiles, "it was too forward thinking, I think. I love Luzer's. They can't."
"Of course." raked the response. "Of course."

Finding the right candidate and having the best agency could never be more removed from a dream than interviewing a crack during a slow economy. No growth, no money, no hope. For those waiting, Santa is alive if, and only if, you find February under your tree.

Although, although, we can relax a bit now as there are no calls. You've fired your entire staff, remember, well... relatively speaking. Let's begin a wish list for our 2009 design shop/ad agencies.

Here's mine: (tone provided)
1) Never let'em own me. The client. They can own the audience because, I'll own the client and everyone is speaking "po english" Who cares, it'll be my money.

2) I'm using Hogtie, Kidnap, Murder and Abduction. In fact I'm telling every client " We're burning butts with your brand this year, right Haus!

3) No more lying. I'm telling every new graduate. There's no Santa Claus - We create needs for them to want and that's all there is. Great headlines are beautiful lies! lies! lies! lies!

4) I'm going to start drugging clients. Less effort. More cooperation. Clients need rehab anyway.

5) I'm hanging each and every developer, CSS, DHTML guys who I reach, know, love, in the entry way. Get out of this country. You don't belong here, you're killing creative!

6) I'm shooting every young creative in the leg. Tired of having them elope with puter guys only to produce welfare design babies Application this, tool that. You think you have creative talent marrying that rat! Pounce? Pounce? 2.0? Ha!

7) Finally, I'm changing my name to my name. No more Punkkat. Hmm...

Ok, off the Oxy before making that decision.