goddamn, yesterday seemed to span for weeks.
in anticipation of rain we took to the roof, excited about the possible of washing away our humanity if only for a moment and becoming wet monkeys. while the rain never came, we managed to catch an amazing lightning storm. sometimes i am so overwhelmed by beauty i reach such euphoric state and loose my sense of self. the only problem seems to be coping with lose of ego.
the promise of rain never came i found myself stuck in limbo. chasing the idea of a rainbow only to become disappointed and loosing all interest communication. finally residing myself into bathtubworld, a dark and dismal place.
and in letting everything go i found myself with the world as a blank canvas. and so i began to paint. life in neon. everything is absurb, everything just is what it is, because i make it so. and so i remade myself in my own image, reinventing myself this time as a spelling bee photographer and later a coceptual spelling bee photographer.
and finally there was rest. and finally there was peace.
build. decay. repeat. we do this everyday. drink lemonade. paint everything neon. sit in pigeon conress. sleep outdoors. watch the sky rain lightning down to the city. i don't know. like bukowski said, "no one can save you, but yourself"