The music video will be hella tight.

My friend Jason called the other night. I kinda got out of line with him because he's a ninja, whereas I'm a pirate. I could hear his eyebrows raise through the phone after I called him a wench or a slut or something. "Watch out, chica. My pimp hand is gettin' …

96 Things Called In Sick

I like seeing what other people have to say in their "101 Things About Me" lists, but I don't have the attention span to read or write all those things in one sitting. Therefore, welcome to Volume One of my list. The finished product will be posted on the Extras page, …

Sadly, things only went downhill from here.

I'm sorry, but that last entry isn't really complete without a picture from that era.

My friend Sarah and I, prepping for another day of swooning over Matt.

This picture is particularly fantastic because it was taken on Twin Day. More specifically, it was the most …

Childhood Tales: Professing My Love

One of the most embarrassing moments in my life involved telling my elementary school crush that I loved him. To his face. In front of the entire school.

His name was Matt, and he was the dreamiest boy I had ever laid eyes on. Gorgeous brown hair and lovely, soulful …

Why I Shouldn't Work at a Church*

I'm assuming that when I bring my iPod in to work tomorrow, I should avoid playing Say Anything's "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too."

Then again, it would be ridiculously funny to see what would happen when people realized that they were listening to a song that includes the …

Fear of the Unknown

On Tuesday of last week, I skipped sixty years of my life and started a new job. Now, I absolutely love this job so far. I get to work with people who have been friends of my family for years and years. The environment is completely relaxed, and I spend most of my …

Happy Birthday, Saggyskirts!

Some people go drinking on their 22nd birthdays. Some go to Europe with friends. Some play World of Warcraft until 3am. I, however, decided to branch out a bit.

On Tuesday, my 22nd birthday, I turned eighty-two years old.

I know. The math doesn't quite seem to …

Two Days 'Til I'm Twenty-Two

This past week was filled with a whirlwind of emotions. After I recovered from the shock of being employed and the shame of crying during my interview, I put all my energy into being as annoyed as possible that my boss wanted me to start this new job on my birthday, …