Getting What I Need

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" seems to be the theme song of the week. I'm hoping it doesn't turn out to be the theme song of the year.

I'm also hoping you aren't too sick of sock monkey entries to cast your vote officially in the naming contest:

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Embarrassing Skirts Trivia, Vol. One

In January of 2006, I very specifically posted entries on certain days in order to create a J-shaped hole on my LiveJournal blogging calendar. I was incredibly smitten by a boy whose name starts with the letter J.

No shit. I chose to show my affection for a boy by …

More Socks and More Monkeys

I need a name for my sock monkey. When I posted pictures of him on Flickr a few days ago, I realized that I hadn't ever figured out what to call him. I asked for some feedback on one of the pictures, and here are the suggested names thus …

Speaking of Target...

I've had enough spare time this week to get several projects done. I could've read through the infinite number of entries piling up on my Google Reader account. I could've laundered the mountains of dirty clothes on my floor. I could've re-designed the church …

I Less Than Three Sock Monkeys

A few months ago, I bought a sock monkey from Cracker Barrel. On the two days I've made my bed since then, he has been lovingly placed upon it. This is quite an honor for a stuffed animal. The only other animals allowed up there right now are Teddy (a Build-a-Bear …

Bulleted List, Volume 493957

Things I learned today:

• I am petrified of using the paper cutter at work (or anywhere, for that matter). If I somehow accidentally chopped off part of a finger, I wouldn't be able to go on with my life. I need to be able to play piano.



• People who play in rock bands …

To Arthur Dent:

You are not alone. I can't seem to get the hang of Thursdays either.

Failed Love Letter #2

Dear Really Hot Guy,

You seem to be coming to the church for counseling, which is great. Therapy is for the strong, baby, not for the weak. (I wouldn't really know because I quit after my first session, but we can talk about that later.) You also seem to have skills …

You Should Love My Little Brother

Last night, I was a bit frustrated with my brother for rummaging around in his closet, which shares a wall with my bedroom. I endured about five minutes of clanking and banging and crashing noises before I stomped into his room, fully prepared to kick him in the …

My Dad Is Pretty Cool, Too

I know I just told you about my awesome brother like five seconds ago, but my family members seem to be having a competition for who can be the coolest (and dorkiest) human being ever to exist. My dad? He called me in to his study a few hours ago.

"Rach, do you have …

Go Team Memedroids!

Randy tagged me in this entry to do a meme, the rules of which state that I must list seven famous people I have met. I've spent this past year hanging out in a church, the three years prior to that hanging out at Wal*mart, and the previous eighteen years hanging out …

My True Love Gave Me a Swiffer Duster

Things currently on or near my desk:

• Ten action movies.


• Nine books.


• Eight undecipherable Post-It notes.


• Seven CDs of pictures from work.


• Six pairs of earrings.


• Five headbands.


• Four crayons.


• Three candy wrappers.


• Two bottles of nail polish.


• One very disappointing candle …

I also wouldn't mind one of those Starbucks gift cards.

I'm really intrigued by all the spam emails I've been getting lately regarding "Panda Research." I don't need any Rogaine, Viagra, or home mortgages, but I wouldn't mind hanging out with a panda all day. My favorite animal is a tiger, but pandas are in the top five …

Rachel + Skirts + The Windy City

The skirt I wore today has been hiding a terrible secret. Don't be fooled by its cute, innocent nature. It may be pure cotton, but it is not pure goodness.

It pains me to tell you this, but ... my skirt is a wind slut.

Yes, it's true. I walked outside today fully …

Yes, I love the smell of elevators. Still.

When I was little, I had big plans for my future. I wanted to be the C.E.O. of a company when I grew up. I used to beg my dad to take me to work with him on the weekends, so I could inhale the scent of the elevator as we rode to the fourth floor, where I would quietly …

This Turn is No Longer Unexpected

That AT&T commercial with the little girl who sends her stuffed animal with her daddy on his business trip? It made me cry. Twice. In the past hour.

This job is ripping me to shreds. Knowing that there are people out there coloring me pictures with crayons (or …

In Which I Discover the True Cost of Procrastination

After watching Lucky Number Slevin yesterday, I couldn't help but ask myself why there aren't more movies featuring Josh Hartnett strutting about in naught but a towel. I would pay good money to see that more often, and I would bet my bottom dollar that I'm not the …

Best Wedding Ever

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Frodo Baggins!

Unexpected Turn for the Sappy, Part Two

When I put Philosophy bath products on my Christmas wishlist, I asked for the "Falling in Love" collection in hopes that I would one day look at the bottles and think, "Wow, I really am."

"Have you ever heard a hungry dinosaur hiccup in the wind?"

Rachelskirts.com just disappeared from the internet for thirty whole minutes, and I haven't been so close to hyperventilating since the last time my mother cleaned my room. Actually, I did hyperventilate then.

Also, you should all be watching The Phantom Tollbooth …