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April 2007
Well there are too many pills to take
To salve my myriad of aches
I know I never would have chosen this
If I knew about all these dosages
I'm talking hydrochlorothiazide,
Methyldopa, torsemide,
Oxycodone, with a hint of erythromycin,
Primidone, Oxytrol, nitroglycerine!

I'm ain't the type to play dramatic
But takin my meds is getting acrobatic
Twenty Dixie cups right in a row
I think my swallow reflex broke
Lovastatin, metolazone, atenolol, chlorathalidone,
Quinidine, gluconate, acetaminophen,
Carbatrol, Tegretol, Ambien, phenytoin

All the milligrams turn into grams
And all the little grams turn to kilograms
I am wonderin' where the kilos go
Are they making me strong or just making me think so?

And there are too many pills to take
To salve my myriad of aches
I know I never would have chosen this
If I'd known about all these dosages
Glycolax, lithium carbonate
Washed down with monosodium glutamate;
Ibuprofen, Forteo, Viagra, Migranal, Celexa, Avelox, Arixtra,
Cyclobenzaprine, methamphetamines
Ask your quack if this lifestyle's right for you!