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      <title>myself and matthew nelson</title>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:34:34 -0700</pubDate>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:21:35 -0700</pubDate>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:16:50 -0700</pubDate>
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      <pubDate>Tue, 16 Oct 2007 15:12:30 -0700</pubDate>
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      <title>~~ untitled ~~  part 3</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1024860</link>
      <description><![CDATA[this is the final chapter of the saigon trip.  i hope you enjoy it as much as the other two chapters.  i want to thank all of you for reading.  i appreciate it very much.  

~~untitled~~


part 3

we had to get a cab to the nearest boq.  way too hung over, plus too hot and humid to walk.  after an overly zealous breakfast and along with the cab fare we were broke again.  two more days in saigon and no money give us an idea of sorts.  finally.  grab a cab to air america.  catch a flight and just go back to ham tan.   this means stiffing the cabbie at the gate but we are too broke to care.  we caught a cab and it deposited us at the air base entrance.  we bolt and run like rabbits.  the cabbie to old to catch us and he's unarmed.   

feeling better about things we hit the air america terminal and ask about a flight back to ham tan.  we are told nothing is available for the next two days.  the only flight we can get is the one we had already booked two days down the road.  sleeping on the floor of the cia owned and operated airline for two nights is not allowed.  probably not even for five minutes.  the cia doesn't run flop houses.

there's a soldier in the air america terminal who hears of our plight.  he tells us to go to the chopper pad about half a mile away and see if we can hitch a chopper ride back to ham tan.  this lifts our spirits as it's still early morning.  however, by noon we are beginning to realize we were stuck.  no chopper rides today.

we seem doomed to some sort of living nightmare.  when out of the blue this vietnamese army guy with a jeep walks up and says, you guys want a ride?  yes.  where to?  ham tan.  no way, way to dangerous.  so bill comes up with a plan.  i'll give you this watch if you take us to bien hoa.  we figure we can stay in our company area and go unnoticed for a few days and somehow manage to get back to saigon for our flight back to ham tan.  the guy says, let me see the watch.  of course he doesn't want it as it's total junk and had already stopped running.  so no ride.  the viet then says, hey you guys got ration cards?  yeah, we have ration cards.  virgin ones.  

you see with ham tan being out in the nowhere boonies the army gave you smokes for free and there was booze on the compound.  you didn't need to use the ration cards.  so they stayed virgin.  this changed later but at the time it was so.  

with that information the viet's eyes light up.  he says, ok, i give you money.  then we go to the px(post exchange) and you buy all the cigarettes and beer on the cards for this month.  then i'll take you to bien hoa.  this was actually a mother load for the viet.  the black market value for all the smokes and beer was a nice hefty amount of coin in any man's language.  having learned a lot in the past day or so we say, nah, for all that you take us to ham tan.  once again, no way, too dangerous.  ok.  we counter with, xuan loc, which is about half way to ham tan.  we know a few guys there and we figure we can spend the night and worry about tomorrow later.  ok, deal, says the viet.  with that it's off to px we go.  

after wards we load the guy up with the smokes and beer.  he then says, ok now we go to bien hoa, driving to xuan loc is too dangerous.   we counter with, ok.  we'll throw in the junk watch and you don't get shot right here and right now.  and we go to xuan loc.  the viet takes the watch and drives us the forty miles or so to xuan loc.

it was late afternoon by the time we got to xuan loc.  the viet guy bitching the whole way.  he dropped us off at another macv advisory team compound and went off to find a place to spend the night.  we ate some dinner, watched a movie, then slept in guy's bunks that were working the overnight shift in the commo(communication) bunker.  

there aren't many mosquitoes in ham tan.  the beach and all.  too dry or something for mosquitoes even in the monsoon season.  however, in xuan loc they were thick and nasty.  the smell of fresh meat drove them particularly insane that night.  even with mosquito netting they were relentless.  waking up in the morning we found that our sheets were spotted with blood.  our blood.  spotted from rolling over in our semi sleep and squashing the little sated bastards into the sheets.   the guys came in looked at their now blood spotted sheets and were not happy.  xin loi, sorry about that.  it was time for breakfast and planning.  something.  anything.

someone at breakfast suggested we hit the chopper pad and talk to the air traffic controller.  we say that didn't work in saigon.  we are told not to worry.  so off we go to the chopper pad.  a very busy place.  even busier than saigon.  you see, in xuan loc there is a war going on.  the air traffic controller tells us ham tan is no sweat.  unless the chopper is on a medivac or a mission, he'll have them come in and pick us up, for he is the lord of this air space.  

not long after that a chopper lands and we are pointed to it and told to hop right in.  well, of course the chopper is already full and i have to sit with one leg out in space while i hang on to the door frame.  all this while trying not to get in the door gunner's way.  my first chopper ride and when it was over i would never want another.  we didn't know if the pilot was unhappy about being made to pick us up or if he was trying to avoid shit on the ground.  we never found out.  none the less, it was an even worse ride than the flight to saigon on air america.  hard to believe but true.

ham tan in sight.  finally home again.  that's how it felt.  it always did.  we get back to the compound and everyone is surprised to see  us back so early.  before we can explain why in walks our company commander with the executive officer and first sargent in tow.  we of course are counting our blessings.  thanking everyone from god and buddha to swami vishnu the air controller didn't flag down their helicopter.  finally some good luck or so it would seem.  

this is indeed a rare visit as the company commander never came out to ham tan.  it was too dangerous for him.  he always sent the executive officer out on pay days or for whatever.  but today he's in ham tan and feeling fine.  noticing bill he says, hold on there lad.  we were trying to get out of the bunker.  is that a .38 special you have there?   first sargent, write him up for that unauthorized weapon, and that boonie hat as well.  yes, sir.  for you see, macv didn't care what kind of weapon you carried as long as it worked and you could shoot it.  the rest of the military were locked solid into the bullshit.  hats were the same with macv as well.  some other units too but not our signal unit.  as bill was getting reamed i sidled out of the bunker before someone decided to go off on me.  off to the hootch, my bunk, and home for some much needed sleep.

fini


i used to have photos taken in nam.  even a few from saigon.  those i lost long ago.  moving frenzies being what they are.  frantic.  i also had some photos of ham tan and the advisory team.  those are now being cataloged at texas tech university and their vietnam center and archive.  at some point you will be able to be view them on line in the archive.  you should visit that site:  http://www.vietnam.ttu.edu/  i think it's the best vietnam archive in the country.  

yeah, i know the ending is sorta anti-climatic.  it was what it was.  all in all, i think it's a good story.  thanks for reading.

this story/idea is registered with the writers guild of america, west.

jmh]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 10 Jan 2009 10:07:02 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1024860</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>~~ untitled ~~  part 2</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1015074</link>
      <description><![CDATA[~~untitled~~



part 2


the hotel we decided upon was the caravelle.  the place where all the reporters stayed while in saigon.  plus, we had heard the ladies up on the roof were amazing.  the only trouble is they threw us out.  we weren't officers or reporters.  just lowly draftees.  so we caught a cab and went to a hotel both of us had stayed in on previous saigon trips.  a decent enough place but not the caravelle.

we arrive at the hotel and check in. the hotel staff are not pleased with the sight of bill's .38 pistol and low slung holster.  give it to us.  no.  this goes back and forth for a bit but in the end they let him keep the pistol.  we unload stuff in our rooms then head off to get more vietnamese money.  i wanted to go to the uso for my exchange and bill still wanted to go for the street deal.  who's going to fuck with us?, he says.  i have a 38.  ok fine, but first we go to the uso.   another mad cab ride in one of the ubiquitous old yellow and blue renaults.  they were always mad dashes in those old dented wrecks.

the uso in saigon, a sadder place on earth would be hard to imagine.  the place was totally depressing.  it was as if someone had tossed a wet blanket over saigon.  none the less, i got my money changed.  we head back out on the street and bill searches for the rate he wants, the perfect deal.  

there were plenty of saigon cowboys to wheel and deal with.   however, before he got around to his money exchange he buys a watch from one of the cowboys on the street.  the amazing thing was he was conned into buying the watch with gi money.  bottom line, it was an incredibly stupid deal but what could i say?  he wouldn't have listened anyway.  equally amazing is neither of us was drunk or stoned yet.  
 
bill finally finds the rate he wants from some other sleazy saigon cowboy and the guy says, follow me.   the guy leads us around and
around and we end up at the opening of this very dark alley.  dark and it's the middle of the afternoon.  bill says, hey, we aren't going 
in there and remember i have a gun.  the guys says, ok wait here.  then he splits.  

when he returns he shows bill a roll of vietnamese money wrapped up in a tight roll with a rubber band around the roll.  bill takes the money, looks it over carefully and says it's all there.  somehow the guy gets the roll back.  bill then hands him his money.  the saigon cowboy hands bill back the roll then poof he's outta there.  he runs down the alley while yelling something about mp's(military police) but there aren't any around.  bill checks out the roll and finds that only the two outer bills are large denominations.  the rest of them are just ones.  useless vietnamese ones.  about the only thing they were good for would be toilet paper.  bill just got ripped off for two or three hundred bucks.  

we are in saigon for three days and now half of our money is gone and   there's nothing we can do.  no idea where the cowboy went and even if we did it would have been suicide to try and get the cash back.  the cops?  yeah, right.  no way.  street money exchanges were illegal.  so it's another mad taxi ride back to our hotel then up to the hotel's top floor for some booze, smoke, women, and hopefully solace.

all the hotels i ever stayed in while in saigon were pretty much the same. the top floor elevator doors opened into something that must have been experienced to fully appreciate.  at least a dozen or more ladies converging on the elevator doors as they opened.  just another insane saigon scene.  all of the ladies trying to grab your private parts at the same time.   grabbing your privates trying to get your attention in hopes of making a 'connection' as it were.

we weren't in the the mood for that action just yet.   we shooed the ladies away and went to the bar for some drinks.  after a few drinks we were more in the mood for the ladies.  we make a connection and two of them sit at the table.  more drinks are ordered.  after a few more rounds the ladies said they were hungry and they wanted us to buy them dinner in the hotel cafe.  by this time we were drunk enough to agree.  hamburgers all around.  some mystery meat that reeked of god knows what.  amazingly we didn't get sick.  

after dinner it was more drinking and scoring some smoke for later.  at some point, and to this day i still have no idea how it happened, my 'date' got a hold of my wallet.  things had been bad but were about to get dire in an instant.  yelling about the deal would only have gotten us tossed out of the place.  then it would have been, no room, no sex, no money, no nothing.  when i got my wallet back there was only enough money left to pay for the services of the two ladies for the night.  meaning around $40 or so.  at least we were drunk and about to get loaded with our dates then have some more fun.  tomorrow's problems were the furthest thing from our minds.

that night passed blissfully.  the early morning as well.  while the two ladies shower up bill and i met and wondered just what we are going to do.  now broke and no one to turn to for a loan.  we were stuck in saigon for two more days with no money.  a very sad prospect.  

bill's lady turns out to be a hooker with a heart of gold.  sorta.  she gave us $5 in military money.  then said, that's enough for breakfast at a boq and a cab ride back to air america.  boq, bachelor officer quarters. a boq but any soldier could go into any mess hall in nam and eat for a very nominal fee or for free.  viets knew air america as they could fly it as well.  sometimes.  

we were so happy we could shit.  after the ladies left bill did just that.  a huge turd that refused to be flushed.  a turd the likes of which neither of us had ever seen.  we found the mamasan and she sent some old woman to get the turd to flush.  the old woman was not happy as waved her shit stick about.  cursing in loud vietnamese the old lady finally got the turd to flush.  mamasan then tells us to get out.  she already knew we had no more money.  it was goodbye and get the fuck out of here, gi.
  

story registered with the writers guild of america, west.

jmh

]]></description>
      <pubDate>Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:26:50 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1015074</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>~~ untitled ~~ part 1</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1011105</link>
      <description><![CDATA[long ago in another lifetime i got to spend some time in downtown saigon, south vietnam.  those fun trips were courtesy of uncle sam and you the american tax payer.  you folks and myself included are still paying for those excursions in many ways.  this is a true story about one of my trips into saigon.  there were other adventures in saigon as well but this one was sorta special in a number of ways.   

over the years most of you have seen any number of films about the vietnam war.  with the exception of, 'good morning vietnam', they were all pretty much your typical war movie.  they were just set in a different time and place with a 60's and early 70's pop music soundtrack.  this story is different.  though the soundtrack would be the same.  very loud rock 'n' roll.

i think the tale is pretty self explanatory and straight forward.  it could be viewed as a sorta new version of stan and ollie.  though there is a serious side as well but mostly it's just about two guys that can't catch a break.  you may see it differently.  just remember this all happened to me in vietnam on one particular trip to saigon.  

some of you have seen this story before.  yes, i'm still messing with it.  eventually i might get it right.  i hope you re-read it here.  this is its  first foray into general public viewing circles.  it will appear in several parts.  yes, it is untitled.  there is a title but i decided not to use it here.  plus, i'm not sure i like the title any way.

this story/idea is registered with the writers guild of america, west.  

i suppose i ought to add there is a sorta mature subject matter involved in the story.  if you aren't mature then don't read it.  that being said, i'm not your parent.  nor do i want to be. 


~~untitled~~  


part 1  

i was stationed with macv advisory team 48 in ham tan, south vietnam, from 1970 to 1971, in a signal unit attached to macv(military assistance command vietnam) in order to give them secure communications.  ham tan is 80 miles east southeast of saigon as the crow flies.  the macv compound was an old french mission that was taken over by the u.s. army.  it was and still is located about 3 or 4 klicks (kilometers) from the south china sea.  a fairly nice place relative to other places in vietnam at the time.  as attached signal we didn't live in the french mission area but in regular vietnam style hooches.  the advisory team, including signal personnel, never numbered more than 50 or 60 soldiers at any time.

by the time i was in vietnam, saigon was off limits due to the usual serviceman's lust for debauchery.  the military had had enough.  the only personnel allowed in saigon were macv people and military stationed there.  being attached to a macv unit gave us access to
saigon.  once cleared with our sargent we just needed to go see the macv clerk or company sargent and they would cut some travel orders for us and off to saigon you went for some sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.  all of this unknown to our signal company and signal battalion headquarters.  they would have frowned upon the very idea.  plus it was illegal for us to be there.  though macv advisory team 48 didn't really care. 

macv advisory teams were a diversified lot.  regular army folk, draftees like me, green berets, cia, and more cia.  the teams had a number of missions as well.  training south vietnamese troops and advising them, running phoenix programs, pru units, and chu hoi programs among other things.  you can google some of the stuff if you are interested.  it would be a good history lesson.  any ways, there were any number of things going on at any one time.  

there were only three or four ways you could get to saigon from ham tan.  walk, a very bad idea.  drive, a bit better but not much.  though it was done by us signal personnel.  and that's a whole other story in itself.  driving from the saigon/bien hoa area or vice versa was at least a four or five hour adventure.  helicopter, wasn't generally done unless it was an emergency.  or you could take air america, the cia owned and operated air transport system for vietnam, laos, and thailand.  macv would book you a flight, no problem, both ways.  that was because air america flew out to ham tan every day with mail and passengers.  the planes were only 6 seaters with a single large propeller and a rolls royce engine to power it.  they were rated for only 10,000 feet but flew higher to avoid gun fire and artillery.  this made for some interesting flights due to air pockets and the plane being so small.

a fellow signal mate, i'll call him bill, and i decided we should go to saigon together.  never having done so as a team.  we would spend the usual three days of getting drunk, smoking dope, and having sex with the bar girls.  a flight was booked and travel orders cut.  a few days before we were scheduled to leave i changed some military script into vietnamese money.  bill said he would opt for doing a deal on the street so he could get a better exchange rate.  by this time military script was illegal tender for the vietnamese as most of it ended up going to north vietnam or so the story went.  

the day of departure we went out to ham tan's so called airport early to await our flight to saigon.  ham tan international as we called it.  a piece of crap dirt runway with a wind sock for a control tower and an equally forlorn terminal.   

there were only three of us going to saigon that day.  bill, myself, and a macv captain, a black guy, who was going in for business not fun.  i was happy to see that our pilot was one i had flown with a few times before and i thought of him as one of the best.  there was however a co-pilot that day.  something you usually never saw on these particular air america flights.  with the co-pilot seat empty you could sit up front with the pilot.  i did it once and only once.  i'm not pilot material.  nor do i care for heights.

we boarded, the wind sock checked and off we went.  at this point it becomes clear why there is a co-pilot.  he's a new guy and the old vet is checking out his flying skills.  

sitting in the passenger section of those planes gave you an unobstructed view of the cockpit.  the new guy revs her up and begins the take off.  only thing is the plane is bouncing like a ball down the dirt runway.  the bounces kept getting bigger and bigger.  so much so it was obvious we were in big trouble.  the old hand grabs the controls of the plane moments before we run out of runway and careen into certain disaster.  he then miraculously gets us airborne while yelling all the time at the new guy.  the black captain, who was very black, was a nice shade of gray at this point.  i was ready to jump.  but it was only the beginning. 

the plane got off the ground and up into the clouds and air pockets, made even more hair raising with the new guy at the controls.  instead of the usual several hundred foot drops we were dropping several thousand feet with lots of yelling coming from the cockpit. 

we finally made it in one piece to tan son nhut air base in saigon.  the new guy is bringing us in for the landing.  at about 30 feet or so off the ground the air traffic controller radios that a plane load of dead bodies is coming in and they have priority.  we were being waved off.  the old hand grabs the controls and makes this amazing left turn while he flips the plane over on it's back.  yeah.  we flew upside down at 30 feet or so over most of the air base.  simply amazing.  bill and i about crapped our pants.  the black captain had turned white.

after the hair raising turn we go back for another try at landing.  the new guy back at the controls.  this time the guy can't get the plane on the ground.  this is a huge runway due to jets, bombers, transports, etc.  however, he's fast running out of runway and he can't get the plane below 10 feet.  there's only a few yards of runway left when the old vet grabs the controls, yet again, and dumps us on the ground like a stone.  i suppose it was either that or another left with a flip over deal again.  i don't think he was up for another one of those.  his passengers sure as hell weren't.  

we were a long way from the air america terminal.  during the entire taxi ride to the place its more yelling up in the cockpit.  we get to air america and what's waiting for us are the dead bodies in their body bags nicely lined up on the tarmac.  the perfect ending to a memorable flight.  the old vet pilot felt sorry for bill and i so he gave us a ride in his personal car to our hotel.  it was out of the guy's way but he figured he owed us.  a very nice gesture indeed.
 
story registered with the writers guild of america, west.

jmh


]]></description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:16:06 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/1011105</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>singin and playin'</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/750644</link>
      <description><![CDATA[after an eight month absence from playing live my friend, john harrelson, took to the stage again last night at rhino records in claremont, ca.  it was all things considered an amazing set of acoustical music.  amazing because john hasn't been feeling very well the past year.  and it was good to see him back on stage doing what he truly loves, playing guitar and singing his songs. 

the set included some of his favorites from others but mostly his own tunes filled with that heart and soul that most musicians can only hope for.  yeah, john, kicked out some jams.  for those that don't know john he's been playing, singing and writing tunes for the past 40 years.  i'm very happy to call him a friend.  i first met him 40 years ago.  there's a blog out there somewhere sorta detailing that.  anyways, it's always nice to sit with him and drink some coffee and talk about stuff we both love.  music and ladies.  ok, and other stuff as well.

things got off to a rockin' start with 'dixie chicken'.  songs by others included 'red rooster', 'crossroads', and 'jambalaya'.  for the most part though it was john's music from new stuff to old stuff and a stop or two in between.  tunes like, 'live & love like mick & keith (and die like brian jones), his ode to the best band ever.  along with 'serena' and the hauntingly beautiful 'mojave' which deals with what john does best, putting his life and heart into his songs.  the set ended with john's 'i want your ass' a tune about a hot librarian and a rockin' blues number.

john invited one of his guitar students up on stage to join him in a couple of songs, 'jambalaya' and 'mojave'.  i hope i get the young man's name correct here, john mancuso.  if i screwed it up i assure you it wasn't intentional.  at any rate, the 14 year old did a fine job. 

bottom line is it was good to see john out on stage again.  out on stage doing what is his life, folks.  nothing more nothing less.  a professional musician with a heart full of soul that shines like a beacon when he plays and sings.  it doesn't get much better for those of us that watch him perform.

john will doing another live gig in a few weeks at another local venue.  i hope i see you there.  another friend of john's video taped the set last night.  it should be out on www.vimeo.com in a week or so. i'll let you know.  you can always visit john at http://johnharrelson.com or http://cdbaby.com/cd/harrelson or for john's wonderful blog go to http://myspace.com/john_harrelson. 

dude, i'm glad you're back.

jmh
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:01:23 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/750644</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>china tour part 5</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728010</link>
      <description><![CDATA[from guilin we went to shanghai. shanghai is an amazing place.  it looks like new york city with all it's sky scrappers.  western modern, asian old, euroland old, and asian new all rolled up into one place.  interesting.  more hot babes as well.  we went to the shanghai museum one morning.  lots of jade and bronze.  old old stuff.  very nice but not my cup of joe.  all very interesting but i prefer to look at paintings. 

after the museum we went down to the bund.  yeah, bund it's the name of the street in the old section by the river.  lots of old early 20th century buildings built by the euros, mostly germans and dutch.  nice view on the river of sky scrappers and stuff.  took a bunch of pics.   and of course we ate 2 more superb chinese banquets that day.

next day off to hangzhou by bus.  some interesting scenery once out of shanghai.  miles and miles of farm land with some nice new and old houses with 2 or 3 families living in the houses.

hangzhou is a big light industrial city.  not much to see just the usual temples and this lake that wasn't all that special.  lunch was ok but dinner was the worst meal of the trip.  we walked into this place and everyone knew from the smell we were in trouble.  the place looked like a chinese vfw for old chinese korean war vets.  just jammed packed with old guys and a few old women.  they were playing cards and dice.  one of the old guys was happy to see some americans and patted me on the shoulder and gave me a big smile.  turns out they were all waiting for a train that was late.  everything is pretty much late in china so no big deal.  well, at least to them.  dinner was no good.  our guide apologized and said next day would be better.  it was so bad most of us barely touched it.  when we got back to the hotel we bought a couple of cardboard sandwiches to ease the pangs of hunger.  as bad as the sandwiches were they tasted better than the dinner.

next day a bus trip to suzhou.  more farmland. we went to this old village that is still a working ville with canals and all.  the venice of china.  sorta.  we took a bicycle rickshaw ride into the ville which was cool and then a small boat ride thru the canals.  we watched the folks wash their clothes in the canal and dishes too.  no soap.  glad we didn't eat there.  then the bike rickshaw ride back out.  all and all very nice.

after that it was off to, tiger hill, the chinese leaning tower of pisa.  it leans more than the one in italy.  a very cool place with some good light and clear weather along with not much smog for picture taking.  then off to this really nice chinese garden that would have been more spectacular had there not been a bazillion people all over the place.  by this time everyone is tired and whacked out with all the moving and airports and just the stress of it all.  after dinner we were happy just to go back to the hotel and sleep. 

the bus ride back to shanghai the next morning turned into another traffic nightmare.  the main road to the freeway from auzhou was closed for some reason.  our driver didn't know it till it was too late to do anything about it.  we were stuck in a monumental traffic jam on 2 a lane road for well over an hour.  he was pissed as the rest of tour was leaving that afternoon from shanghai for home.  we were staying over in shanghai for two more days.  it took forever to get back into shanghai.

when we finally arrived in shanghai the tour was running late so they just dropped us off on a street corner and we caught a cab back to our hotel.  the same hotel we had stayed at on the tour.  they had stored our luggage for us.  on one of our extra nights g/f threw a big dinner party for some of her friends and relatives in this amazing place called, the dynasty restaurant.  4 floors of restaurant with rooms decorated in like a baroque style.  amazing.  really beautiful.  our room even had a grand piano, a large flat screen tv, and a balcony with a wonderful view of downtown shanghai.  the food was excellent.  we were attended to by two of our own waitresses.  it was the first place in china that served wine with the meal.  good chinese stuff and as much as you wanted.  there would be no way to duplicate the place here in states or the dinner.  the meal cost g/f around $300 US.  here with that setting, food, and service it would cost more like $2000 US or more.  interesting.  after dinner we went back to the bund to check it out under the lights.  pretty spectacular.

we spent the next day in shanghai just dicking around and chilling out.  eating and shopping.  we left the next day and the plane was only 2 hours late getting off the ground.  though only one hour late getting to lax due to a nice tailwind.

there ya go.  if it's tuesday it must be china.  for now that's the way to see china easily and relatively cheap too.  a wonderful experience and i can't wait to go back.

jmh]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:19:52 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728010</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>china tour part 4</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728006</link>
      <description><![CDATA[before i get going again, the food on the planes in china was just god awful.  along with the same crappy food over and over again we saw the same crappy videos over and over.  the movies were the worse crap ever made.  some seemed like they were made just for the flights we were riding on.

guilin is almost to vietnam's northern border and the countryside really resembles nam.  the people look vietnamese too.  lots of rice paddies bring the whole thing together and i was back in nam again.  very strange.  much warmer weather as well and more humid.

downtown guilin is a nice place.  a small large city with a lot of character going for it and a great vibe.  we had a wonderful lunch in town.  very tasty and a delight to look at as well.  it was in the same restaurant president clinton dined at while in guilin.  a nice photo of him and the family is on the wall of the place.  after lunch and while boarding the bus i was accosted by this little kid yelling 'hey gi. hey gi' buy my crap.  the 'gi' deal was weird.  you were always getting hit on to buy stuff by all sorts of folks but this kid was pissing me off because he kept touching me and he wasn't the cleanest thing going.  most of the hucksters would go away when you said no or no thanks but some never gave up like that kid.  you would literally have to yell at them to get them to go away.

we stayed at a very nice hotel on the river.  after check in we went to other side of river and into this grotto like deal.  interesting.  it reminded me of the caves at corona del mar here in socalif.  i was just dicking around taking video when all of a sudden these four chinese babes, in costume, come up and grabbed me and wanted me to take a picture with them for money.  really cute ladies.  this gave me another big time nam flashback of hotels in nam and the hookers upstairs.  same deal when you got off elevator.  babes all over your ass grabbing you.  any the ways, this action got big laughs from the group. even g/f.  sadly they wanted too much money for a picture.  however, i was just enjoying the attention and this particular flashback.  one of the round eyes on the tour said they would have picked me clean.  i told him it wouldn't have been the first time.  that got a big laugh.  as it was g/f got a picture of them and me while their boss wasn't looking.  our guide said guilin was big a one night stand place.  so the babes must be really easy there.  no wonder bubba made the trip.  i don't blame him, the women there were gorgeous.

we spent the rest of the day going to other places.  a nice dinner then another show this one in the hotel with singing, dancing, and some acrobats.  more beer.  a very fine show but i almost fell asleep while watching it.  even with the nice babes on stage. 

after the we show got in the elevator to go up to our room.  two nicely dressed westerners get in too.  for some reason we are the only people in the elevator. which was weird because of the number of people who had been watching the show and were now heading back to their rooms in the hotel.  we get up to our floor.  the men stayed in the elevator and as we get out one of them says, in an aussie or limey accent, good night, john.  yeah, no shit.  i had never seen those guys before.  i just ignored them and kept on walking.  however, i was jolted. 

very spooky and strange and the last time on the trip that i noticed anyone taking any interest in me in a langley sort of way.  i had completely forgotten this little incident until i was reading my old emails.  even now it seems very bizarre.  we were at least 1,000 miles from xian and the russian, chinese terra cotta warrior deal.  now i had british MI6 guys(?) wishing me a good night.  hmm...  

the next day we took a 4 hour boat ride down the li river.  a very famous boat ride as you get to see some of the best scenery in china along the way.  a shit load of boats make the trip and they all serve you lunch on board.  lunch on board was ok but if we had seen how they washed the dishes and pots no one would have eaten anything.  they just pump water out of the river and wash the stuff with no soap.  yeah.  nice.  we didn't get sick but 4 of the folks in group did get the shits.  with a good amount of haze or smog in the air some of the scenery was a bit washed out.  but none the less spectacular.

one of the big deals in guilin is chinese wine with a snake in the damn bottle.  i don't recall just what kind of snake it is.  but one of the people in our group bought a large glass of the stuff on the boat then passed it around.  it smelled like white port and tasted like watered down tequila.  guess it was supposed to be an aphrodisiac or something as well.

all and all a nice boat ride with some amazing scenery to look at.  there are a number of people who live on river.  some of the houses even had satellite dishes on the roof.  while going down river some boats passed us coming up river.  going up river it's an 8 hour ride.  as the boats traveling up river passed i would yell at them and ask if they had seen col kurtz.  i was ignored.  it was also the only time on the trip where i got goofy.  maybe it was the wine and beer combo.  i dunno.  though it did seem appropriate at the time.  regardless.

boats going down river lined up like the freeway at rush hour.  8 million people go thru guilin every year as tourists.  i think most of them were on river that day.  we had good boat and driver who ended up passing most of the other boats going down river.  we were the 3rd boat to make it to the stopping point.  it still took 4 hours though.  after some shopping in an open air market a bus took us back to the hotel in about a 30 minutes.

guilin was a wonderful place and i'd lke to spend some more time there some day.  great scenery, food, and beautiful women.  though i guess you could say that about most of china.

the next day it was off to shanghai.  again.

jmh]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:15:16 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728006</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>china tour part 3</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728002</link>
      <description><![CDATA[i think beijing has been more or less covered.  one more thing about beer before we move to xian.  beer was the drink of the day in china.  lunch and dinner.  one free one with each meal and you could buy more.  $1 for a big bottle and most of the beers were ok.  just depended on which city you were in on what beer you got.  usually the local favorite.  we got by the one beer deal by having the ladies order beer as well then we would drink theirs.  they would in turn order bottled water.  by the middle of the tour we were getting as much beer as we wanted.  guess the tour guide liked us.  don't know and didn't ask.  don't look a gift horse in the mouth.  without beer at lunch and dinner the long slogging walking days would have been very hard to deal with.  trust me.

off to xian.  meaning another trip to an airport in beijing and the security hassle.  g/f had trouble with here lap top she had dragged along as she had to take it out of it's suitcase.  i was watching her and sat my video camera bag on the ground.  then promptly forgot it and walked away.  i realized i had forgotten it by the time we had almost gotten to the plane.  i sprinted back for the bag ala the old oj hertz airport commercials.  of course, it was gone. i'm asking everyone around where the camera bag was.  they just looked at me.  then some american yelled at me as he was leaving and said it was over at this counter.  thankfully it was.  they had it out of the bag and were looking at it.  in order to get it back i had to sign some form that was all in chinese.  guess i may have copped to the oj murders and the peterson case too.  at least i got the camera back.  then the 3 hour flight to xian.

xian is a very old city.  one of the oldest in china. a walled city on top of that.  for some reason or another lots of japanese have always lived in xian.  they still do.  interesting.  the trip from the airport was a long ride and a trip back in time as the country side and small settlements reminded me of nam.  lots of flashbacks.  amazing.  once we got into the city it reminded me of saigon and more flashbacks.  i was starting to get creeped out in a good way.

we stayed at the sheraton in xian.  the lobby was nice but the hotel itself had seen better days.  our air conditioning in the room didn't work very well.  which sucked.  xian has horrible smog.  just god awful.  all the farmers burning old corn stalks and sugar cane fields.

while in xian i got to watch a little tv.  some drew carey and the simpsons via satellite in our room.  it was strange watching homer do his thing in a hotel room in china.  we were told that the government didn't allow cnn to be aired in china.  though i do recall seeing it on a tv or two in passing.

while in xian we went to a bunch of pagodas.  the big goose pagoda being the largest and nicest.  or in some places known as the wild big goose pagoda.  a ton of nice photo ops with the buddhist monks or nuns as g/f calls them.  chinese pagodas.  we saw several every day.  in general they were a very peaceful place even with a vast amount of people wandering about.  some better than others.  a personal thing i suppose.  i enjoyed the pagoda experience.  i imagine not unlike the cathedral experience in euroland.  though i'd rather wander through pagodas.

we also visited the main gate house for the city back when the city was still confined behind this massive and impressive wall and moat.  a very cool place indeed.  the day we visited the main gate the local japanese were setting up for some sort of ceremony in a light rain.

on the way to see the terra cotta warriors we stopped off at a very nice hot springs place.  a very lovely place where chiang kai-shek made his last stand against the communists in 1948.  there are still a number of .50 caliber bullet holes in the walls of the buildings.

xian is the place where the old buried terra cotta soldiers were discovered.  before going to see them they took us to a terra cotta factory so they could sell us shit. they did that a lot on the tour.  a jade factory.  pearl joint.  tea place.  silk place and a couple of other places.  interesting but...

while at the terra cotta factory there was a guy standing around with big sony video camera on a tripod.  i went up and started talking to him about his camera.  he had an odd accent.  turns out he was a russian tv news photographer or that was his story.  he said they were doing set ups as putin was visiting the factory the next day before he went to see the actual warrior site.  there was a talking head with him but i didn't talk to him.  anyways, after chatting with the ruskie and getting him to pose for some video i wondered off taking more videos.  suddenly this really nice looking chinese babe came out of nowhere like a sudden heart attack and asked me in very good english if i'm getting some nice pictures.  this kinda freaked me out.  who was she?  where did she come from?  i said yeah and blew her off.  i think she may have been chinese langley.  did she and the chinese think i was cia as well? 

years ago some old farmer found the terra cotta warriors while digging a new well.  the government took the farm away from him but gave him a job as greeter of the place, ala joe luis in vegas years ago.  he sits there all tabbed out in chinese mob style splendor in one of the buildings and autographs books about him finding the warriors.  he sits there smoking these horrid stogies and waits to sign his name if you buy a book.  one of the people in our tour bought one of the books and i got him signing it on video.  i threw him a salute and he gave me one in return.  nice.

the terra cotta soldier deal is amazing in person. nothing at all like seeing it on the tube or in photos.  just an incredible place.  we spent over 2 1/2 hours going thru the 4 buildings they built over the site.  really nice.  our local tour guide in xian was one of the guys who worked on the horses after they were dug up.  nice guy and very bright.  he spoke better english than i do.  the history behind the whole place is amazing and very interesting.  if you like that sort of thing you may want to check it outelse where.  we also had lunch at the museum cafeteria.  it was ok but nothing special and a long wait to get anything to eat.

while we were at the terra cotta digs 3 guys in bad suits walked past.  i immediately made them for russians.  one of them stopped and gave me the eye for a minute or two.  guess he had heard about me from someone at the terra cotta factory.  i ignored him.  putin was to be there as well the next day.  so i guess they were just more russian 'cultural' folks checking stuff out in advance.  did the russians think i was cia too?  what was going on?we heard a day or so later the chinese closed the place for 3 hours so putin could look at the shit by himself and not be disturbed.  i hope he enjoyed himself.  

that night back in xian we had a wonderful local meal.  a very famous dumpling dinner.  it was excellent.  after dinner we went and saw some old time chinese stage show in a theatre in downtown xian.  an ok show with some ok babes dancing around. i was busy drinking beer and enjoying the show.  i'm not real sure but i think one of the hot babe leads may have been a man or something.  or so i heard.

that pretty much covers xian. the next morning it was off to airport and heading south to guilin.  another security deal but nothing left behind this time.  just another 3 hour flight. 

jmh]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:12:58 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/728002</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>china tour part 2</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/727999</link>
      <description><![CDATA[beijing is a great place.  very clean and nice folks but a traffic nightmare.  the whole damn country is a traffic nightmare.  it reminded me of saigon at times.  chinese drive worse than vietnamese in saigon or mexicans in mexico.  just goddamn amazing.  you could not drive there.  if you tried you would either be frozen with fear at the curb or dead in about 2 seconds.  yeah, it's that bad.  blow the horn and go. pass on the right?  sure why not.  cross double yellow lines to pass cars with cars coming at you.  piece of cake.  cars going the wrong way or in your lane with the horn blaring.  miss your off ramp on the freeway?  no problem put it in reverse and just back up on the freeway.  illegal but nobody cared.  you name it and they did it.  the tour bus driver too.  but you sorta got used to it.  strange thing is we only saw a couple of accidents with all the driving around we did.  some cops out but not enough by any stretch.  they need a battalion or 2 of traffic cops in every town.  plus out on the highways.

they are supposedly going to 'fix' the traffic troubles in beijing for the old limp dicks.  yeah, well they sorta did here in l.a. for the 1984 deal. but i find it hard to believe the chinese can pull it off.  unless they figure on rolling the tanks out along with a division or two of soldiers.  there's traffic nightmares then there's chinese and beijing traffic nightmares. 

while in beijing we saw tienanmen square and were told to avoid anybody protesting anything.  we didn't see any of that.  the place was packed.  but then everywhere we went was packed like disneyland on a crowded day.  mostly chinese tourists.  you have to remember there are billions of them.  plus tours from here and euroland plus a few from latin america.  then of course, the chinese tours with chinese from other parts of china as well.

we also saw the forbidden city which they were remodeling for the limp dicks.  amazingly packed too and in a smaller area.  we were told to watch out for pickpockets.  lots of them around working the crowds and usually working in pairs.  the usual modus operandi everywhere in the world.

also on the list was the temple of heaven and the summer palace which is on a big man made lake.  nice place and huge.  highlight there was a boat made of marble.  a big damn thing.  temple of heaven was nice as we got there early.  not that many people.  summer palace was another story.  tons of people.

on the way to the great wall we stopped at ming's tombs which is sorta like the pyramids but underground.  an amazing place.  also packed with people.

my favorite place on the trip was the great wall. the weather that day was very nice.  the skies clear and the october light was amazing.  perfect for videos and stills.  tons of people out on the wall. just being on that sucker is one amazing experience.  we climbed up to several stations and were going to do more but we came to a spot that was one way traffic only with a cop there directing the traffic.  a glut of people milling about so we nixed going on.  the wall is a hard climb in spots but worth every step.  the great wall is a place i'll never forget and is worth the whole trip.  thankfully, we did it in good weather.

while on the wall g/f had her picture taken while sitting on a camel.  i was mistaken for actor leslie nielsen.  something that happens now and again.  people wanted to shake my hand and have a photo op with me.  fine.  i wasn't about to create some international incident by trying to splain stuff to the local chinese.  not me.  so today there's more than a few chinese who probably have our picture on a wall in their house and they tell folks about meeting the great american actor while visiting the great wall.   

on a side drift the weather was ok most of the trip. not hot except in guilin but not that bad there. the fall is probably the best time of year for china.  not hot and not cold, yet.  summer is blistering and it's to cold in winter.  spring is not good either unless it's late spring.  i could not imagine our trip in summer.  it would have been a killer. even with air conditioned buses and hotels.  people going to the old limp dicks are going to be in for one hell of a surprise.  walking all over those places would have been enough to kill me in summertime.  plus more people in summer.  more chinese with kids.  the kids were in school when we were there so it was mostly just chinese oldsters out touring.  as for rain we hit just a tad of drizzle in beijing one morning.  then the east wind came and blew out the rain and smog.  beijing without smog or whatever is dazzling.  we also hit a small amount of rain in xian too.

the trip back from great wall was a nightmare of biblical traffic proportions.  just jammed with buses, trucks, and cars all just trying to ace each other out and just move.  very scary.  lots of tour buses had people sticking video cameras out windows to shoot the chaos.  myself included.  it turned out the cops or army were pulling all the trucks off the freeway for some reason and that action was causing all of the trouble.  though downtown beijing traffic is almost just as bad.

we finally got to eat a traditional peking duck dinner sometime after 8pm.  which was the usual time with all the traffic and stops we made everywhere every day. like i said we were lucky to get into bed by 10 or 11 most nights.  then up at 6 or maybe 7 if we were lucky and do it all over again.  at any rate the duck dinner was superb.  though not as good as one we ate in hong kong years ago.

i enjoyed our short stay in beijing.  i'd love to go back some day and hang out again.  i'd especially like to go back and wander around on the great wall at least one more time before i pack it in.  



jmh
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:11:07 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/727999</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>china tour  part  1</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/537613</link>
      <description><![CDATA[back in 2004 g/f and i went to mainland china.  at the time just your typical 12 day tour.  i've never blogged about it before other than a quick something here or there.  i have nothing else going on in my head at the moment, blog wise and other wise as well.  just the usual.  so i guess just because it's 2008 and the old limp dicks(OLYMPICS) are coming up in china i may as well run the deal down.  some of you might even be going to the old limp dicks or just going to visit china.  you may want to hear about stuff.  fine.  i'll do what i can for you.  although it was 4 years ago it should still be helpful.

the only stuff i have written down from that trip is a series of emails i sent to my friend, dfr, when we got home.  the emails were based on notes i took during the trip.  the notes were sporadic at best.  this blog is being written from the emails and my faded memories of thing trip.  i must say that while i was reading over the old emails i had completely forgotten some of the stuff that happened.  age, hits you hard.  where to start?

the beginning

the trip to the airport, lax, was uneventful.  we hired a car with a chinese driver.  no, we weren't in china yet.  just easier to do than trying to get someone to drive you to the airport and then pick you up.  or parking your car there for 2 weeks.  then driving home exhausted.  but i'm already getting ahead of myself.

the trip through LAX wasn't too bad.  actually much better than our trip through LAX last year when we went to chicago in june.  for the china trip everyone working at the airport was friendly and helpful.  no shoe check for bombs, dog, and or cow crap or whatever.  though you can expect the shoe check now.  we flew china eastern one of the many state run airlines in china.  i think they are all the same company just different names depending on where you are flying in china.  nice take off and the trip to china was under way.

thankfully, our seats weren't anywhere near the 'facilities'.  we've been pretty lucky in that regard for just about all of our trips.  for some reason or another we were mislead as to the length of the flight.  we were told it would be only 14 hours.  yeah, only 14.  i wish it had been only 14.  by the time we ended up in beijing we were pretty close to 19 hours in the air and a good 24 hours worth of travel time had elapsed as we traveled into the heart of darkness.

it indeed took us only 14 hours to get to shanghai.  however, we needed to change planes and carry on to beijing.  our first or second stop depending on just how you want to count stuff.  the chinese customs or army guys ran us around the shanghai airport by bus and foot for what was probably an hour or so.  i'm not sure to this day what was going on but it was not unlike a chinese fire drill.  if you get my drift.  hustled here.  wait.  hustled there.  wait.  some other little guy wearing a big hat comes in and says something and we are on the move again.  3 or 4 trips around the airport.  literally.  a 19th nervous breakdown of running up and down the stairs for sure.  finally we are told to sit and wait in this waiting room for our plane.  thankfully, there were restrooms handy.  my bowels were still on california time.  speaking of time.  china has only one time zone.  it's the same time in china from one end to the other.  interesting.

it was another 4 or 5 hours of air time to beijing. after clearing customs and being driven to the hotel it was around midnight or later.  just bone tired.  head full of cob webs the size of pittsburg.  everything just a huge purple tinted haze. 

we were ensconced at the tianlun dynasty(not sure if i'm spelling it right but i don't feel like checking, sorry) in downtown beijing.  a truly 5 star hotel or at least it was then.  at the time, rumor had it that when the old limp dicks rolled into town in 2008, rooms would be going for 2 grand US a night.  g/f didn't think so but i heard it from a reliable source at the hotel.

i've already mentioned this was a tour.  i suppose you could go to china on your own if you were just going to one city or something.  getting around might be a chore if you weren't hooked into the 'tour' network.  driving a car on your own would be fool hardy at best.  more on this later.  plus if you don't speak chinese you are at a distinct disadvantage.

the rest of the folks on the tour were mostly all chinese from all parts of the u s of a.  there were two other round eyed men on the tour which was nice.
we could get together for some laughs and beer.  both very nice gentlemen with lovely chinese wives.

ok.  so it's a 5 star hotel and we spent 3 nights there.  breakfast everyday at all the hotels was a buffet.  a mixture of western and chinese stuff.  actually pretty good.  nothing like eating a few stir fried veggies or steamed veggies for breakfast along with some decent sausage links and a croissant or two with aussie butter and jam along with a few chinese steamed veggie buns.  some fresh fruit and juice as well.  chinese coffee was ok.  nothing like here though. 

as for lunch and dinner it was always a chinese banquet style deal.  lots of food and generally speaking all very good.  always a fresh fish but a non saltwater fish so tons of bones.  not my fave.  and lots of eel as well.  it's ok but the sauce makes eel.  that's for sure.  plenty of veggies and some tofu if you were lucky.  perhaps some chicken or duck or maybe beef or pork stuff.  i don't know.  well, i don't remember to be really fair.  g/f and i both agree the chinese food in general is better here in socalif.  though some of the meals in china were just as good if not better.  for the most part it was way too much food but no one gained any weight as we were kept on the run most of the time.  sometimes literally.  up at 6am and maybe hit the pillow at 11pm if you were lucky after a very full day of going here and there with lots of walking about thrown in. 

there are almost as many starbucks in china as there are here.  i never had a starbucks while we were there.  though i did go into one someplace or another.  i think it might have been in shanghai.  i was in desperate need of water.  bottled water. 

we were told not to drink the tap water.  not even brush our teeth with it.  oh, we were told the water was ok, it was the pipes that were bad.  someone was shitting someone.  at any rate, the tour provided some bottled water and each hotel left 2 bottles in the room every day.  but after brushing your teeth a couple of times there wasn't much left for drinking. 

when time would allow bottled water shopping was at the number one spot on every ones list.  especially after i got hosed by our beijing hotel when buying a few bottles of french stuff for $10 US.  regular chinese bottled water, even the high end stuff, was only 75 cents a bottle.  a travel tip, when in china and you ask for bottled water at a meal make sure the bottle is still sealed when it's brought to the table.  if it isn't send it back and ask for another.  a sealed bottle.  capitalism being what it is lots of places are not above refilling a bottle from the tap.  though i suppose having a number of chinese speaking folks on the tour helped considerably in this regard.  after a few days the tour provided more bottled water but at times it still wasn't enough. 

having a number of chinese speakers on the tour also helped with the important beer drinking at lunch and dinner or other times as well.  if you don't ask for cold beer you get room temp beer in most places.  not pleasant.  perhaps for the english and germans but not me.  you also want to see them open the bottle of beer.

alright we are in beijing.  things are cool.  time to hit the sights.  

jmh
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Fri, 28 Mar 2008 20:42:54 -0700</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/537613</guid>
    </item>
    <item>
      <title>brother, can you spare me some daylight?</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/504244</link>
      <description><![CDATA[ok.  it's that time of year again.  the clocks either lose us some time or gain us some time.  either way we lose.  yahoo reported yesterday that the daylight saving time deal is stupid and useless.  this came from a big study by the university of indiana.  yeah, ok they had bobby knight there throwing stuff around and acting immature for years plus their football team sucks but i'm sure they have it together intellectually. 

i've been saying it for years.  damn near eons,  daylight saving time is a hoax and just something that gets folks all bound up and pissed off for at least 2 or 3 weeks on either end of the stupid spectrum. 

ah, but no.  our dumb ass elected ones were bought off by some goddamn lobby or another and we the supremely stupid pay for it.  we pay for the, so like if it's lighter at night folks gonna be more inclined to go out and buy shit.  jesus, that logic is nothing more than some old episode of 'amos and andy'.  which by the by was a damn fine show and yeah, ok, i ain't pc.  any the ways that was the governments reason for the last daylight dicking and the one before it's dicking with the already stupid idea of daylight saving time. 

it am gonna saves energy.  no, it doesn't.  turn the lights on in the morning or the evening.  what the fuck is the difference?  

kids will and have been going to school in the dark.  i been saying this one and the last one for years.  seems like none of our elected elite care about kids.  or saving energy.  oh, they yammer and wail and act righteous when you bring kids up.  but they think anybody who has kids going to school in the dark is an asshole if they complain.  just another reason i quit voting for the tools of the money grubbers. 

we the stupid clueless just limp along and take whatever the elite deal out.  um, we gonna get us some more daylight?  ok.  sure.  bring it on.  thing is ain't no moe daylight.  daylight am what it am.  sorta like popeye.  no washington stooge is gonna make any more light than there already is.  trust me.  the humps in dc may think they are the creator but they are sadly lacking. 

so bottom line we are all gonna just be out of sorts for the next few weeks because we all lost an hours worth of sleep tonight.  the same sad process happens again in october or november or some damn time or another.  though we then gain an hour but in the end we are all just pissed off and out of it for a few weeks.  what is the fucking point? 

can't we just leave the fucking clock alone?  just let us deal with what we are dealt with by the creator, buddha, or swami vishnu.  screw the politicians and their lobby money and stupid ideas that are just bunk science to begin with. 

wake up folks.  take your life back.  

jmh

]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:53:28 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/504244</guid>
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    <item>
      <title>wishful thinking</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/488273</link>
      <description><![CDATA[lots of wishful thinking on my part over the years on lots of different stuff.  anything from the chance meeting of say, heidi klum, where we immediately fall into to bed and live happily ever after.  or perhaps, the twice weekly i'm going to be the next california super lottery winner wishful thinking.  i think the odds on either of those things happening are probably both in the same ballpark.  a ballpark with very long odds and over 375 feet down each line to the foul pole.  

i'm not the first person to wishful think either of the two i mentioned.  not by a long shot.  male or female.  for either.  yeah, heidi's that hot.  drifting here.  no, it's the political season of the witch, no, not necessarily, lady machill.  it's just this season of endless political weirdness that over the years has become just annoying and nauseating and finally culminating with my withdrawing from all elections. 

i have some wishful thinking that might drag me back into the fray.  the problem being is that's just what it is because the humps in charge of both major parties and probably the fringe groups as well, wouldn't like it.  oh, maybe some of the fringe guys might but the big sex and money boys and girls would probably have a collective massive coronary if it came to pass.  which might not be a bad idea.  then we could just start over from scratch.  more drifting.  perhaps.

i'm not the only person to come up with this wishful thought as it's been tossed around every now and again over the years but it never goes anywhere.  sadly.  big money wants nothing to do with it.  i think it scares them.  good.  they scare me.  daily.  

i think the time has come to scare the bejesus out of them for a change.  this sad slate of presidential candidates would seem like the perfect time for my wishful thought to maybe make it past the blossom stage and give fruition to something that should have happened years ago.  

oh, i'm sure all the candidates are probably sorta nice folks.  i mean maybe you could probably invite them all over to the house for some grub, massive amounts of dago red, and mah jong.  though they would all have to promise no politics.  the only problem is they all, would at some point, renege and start campaigning.  worse yet, while working the room glad handing anyone in sight, they would be spilling heirloom organic cabernet all over the living room furniture and in general just being boorish dinner guests.  the whole sad deal would probably end up being worse than letting the local canvassing scientology crew in for a chat and a brew.  god, the horror.  i don't know if they do that but just the thought of it scares me on lots of levels.  

the point of this madness?  for those of you that have stuck it out here it is...none of the above.  yep.  that's it.  none of the above needs to be added to every ballot in the country.  it's time is way the hell over due. it's simple in it's purity and gives those of us something to vote for other than the ever ubiquitous 'lesser of two evils'.  cause that's what it generally comes down to in any election.  in particular a presidential election.  regardless who is running.  

sadly it's not going to happen.  although i think it needs to be brought up and hammered home to our elected elitist that they serve us and not their pocketbook or summer home where ever the hell it is.  it's time we that have made ourselves the disenfranchised get our vote back.  sure we quit voting on our own accord.  however, they were the ones that pissed us off so much we just up and said, fuck this, i ain't voting anymore every again for any of you witless bunch of money grubbing oily sanctimonious swine.  

problem is they have all forgotten just who the hell it is they serve.  they all think they are there just to serve themselves up their own personal money tree.  yes, they are the folks that actually have that tree.  the tree that your dad asked your mom if she thought money grew on trees tree.  well, it does exist.  you just have to get elected to any public office in the land.  it also comes with the keys to the new tony soprano model caddy escalade AND your very own 23 year old smokin' hot mistress.  boy, howdy.  makes a man want to run for office, don't it?

imagine the chagrin some november after the votes have been tallied and candidate A gets 12%.  candidate B gets 12%.  the fringe guys and gals get their usual 1% and lo and behold, none of the above, wins with a whopping 75%.  you snicker.  though it could happen.  no, by god, it should happen.  it's time we the fed up disenfranchised take our vote back.  take our vote back and vote for none of the above in any damn election we feel like.  we need to badger our elected swine into letting us vote for none of the above.  why not?  what's the problem with that?  why is it just wishful thinking?

what?  what the hell?  who the fuck are you anyway? why no way, sonny boy, we can't do that.  why that would be un-american.  say, just what kind of commie pinko nazi muslim are you any the ways?  by all that's holy, you gotta be one of em or all of em for even suggesting such a vile idea.  why, why, i think i'll let my bodyguards shoot you for bringing that sick deviant idea up in my very own official officially sanctioned official office.  ed, jack.  take this commie nazi muslim scum out back and do what needs to be done.  

so like here's the deal.  call your congressperson and senator.  be polite.  ya hear?  yeah, well, hopefully he has no clue you don't vote.  then tell whoever answers the phone we need the none of the above clause added to All ballots in this once great nation.  simple easy.  sure they will laugh and hang up.  come on, the caddy and smokin' hot mistress need a good hot wax.  so call again.  give them the same rap.  if enough of you supposed americans do this.  we will get the none of the above clause on all ballots across america for every election.  it's time has come.  

jmh

]]></description>
      <pubDate>Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:41:55 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/488273</guid>
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    <item>
      <title>oscar night</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/481076</link>
      <description><![CDATA[yeah, oscar night, it's tonight.  it ain't what it used to be.  then of course just what the hell is?  i don't go to movies anymore.  the whole experience is just annoying these days on all sorts of levels.  i buy em instead.  cheap.  watch em at home.  very seldom anything new.  for the most part the old stuff of my youth or somewhat newer stuff.  yeah, even the stuff from before i was born.  movies i can watch.  movies i can relate to.  movies that might even mean something to this old scarred and pissed off lion.  all that being said, i have something for this used to be, sacred evening.  something sad and tragic.  my take on one of the last sad acts of the original king of cool, steve mcqueen. 

the dust and heat...

hung in the tijuana air like a freeze frame from hell.  cars honked and clamored looking for an inch in which to move.  nothing ever did.  in sunglasses and old clothes he moved through it all.  no one knew him.  he moved slowly looking for the place.  if you looked at him closely you could see the disease at work.  taking what was left of his life and mocking him with each painful step.  finally the place.  the earthly waiting room for hell.  

the bell above the door tinkled when he opened it.  as the door closed the hell from the streets outside stopped and the smell of the office over came him.  a small greasy headed man got up from behind an equally greasy desk and spoke.

ah, senor bullet, you have come.
yes, on the phone, you said you could help me?
si.  yes, i can.  por favor, follow me.

through the cluttered outer office and into the dank dismal treatment rooms they went.  a strange but familiar odor growing in the man's nose.  the small mexican finally stopped at a dirty examination table.  he turned and said.    

please, senor, you must deesrobe.
ok. the man replied.

he was resigned to it.  it was all that was left.  this final sad humility of an approaching death.  a last chance stop on the road of life.

hokay, meester bullet, now you must assept these enemas of the coffees to cure you cancers.  por favor, on the tables.  you must spread you nalgas for 
me.

a tear formed in the corner of his eye as the man moved to comply.  only to be used as substance by a very large nasty house fly.

outside the dust, heat, and noise, for that moment, stopped.  something had gone from us all.  forever.  in an instant they all began to move.  again.  to oppress.  again.  moving us closer to this hell on earth.

jmh]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sun, 24 Feb 2008 08:35:31 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/481076</guid>
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    <item>
      <title>some reading</title>
      <link>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/468265</link>
      <description><![CDATA[i was going to post something i wrote last night.  however, it is just more yammering and repeating myself concerning some of my recent stuff.  so i figured if i was going to repeat myself i might as well repeat something with some history going for it and something a good number of you probably haven't read or seen.  i've edited it a bit pulled a line here or there and added a line here or there.  here it is, some of my yammerings from june of last year.   

my friend, jh, gave me a book to read last week.  it's an old book about the vietnam war.  a war in which i have some personal experience.  the book is by tim o'brien, 'the things they carried', is it's title.  it's a very good book and i'd recommend it to anyone who has a taste for good writing.  you may not like the subject matter but sometimes good writing wins the day.  so in the spirit of good writing winning the day i have some other book suggestions  for you.  you may not like them as well but it will be your loss and for sure you will lose some historical perspective about stuff and the vietnam war.  you may not care about that part of our history but it's still here and now and there and iraq as well.  

i began reading books about the vietnam war over 27 years ago.  at the last sorta count i think the number was well over 300 and counting.  here are some that i think you should read.  if for no other reason than just for some good writing.  plus you might learn something along the way.

one of the first books i read on the topic was by, bernard fall, a frenchman who wrote several very good books about the war.  his first, if i'm not mistaken, was, 'hell in a very small place - the siege of dien bien phu'.  another of his books worth reading is 'street without joy'.  those two sad wonderful accounts of the french and their time vietnam may not be for everyone but i think everyone should read them.

one of the premier books by an american concerning the war would be neil sheehan's book, 'a bright shining lie - john paul vann and america in vietnam'.  a great book.  i was so stoked when i finished it i actually found his phone number listed in washington dc and called his house.  he wasn't home.  i yammered at his wife for a bit and hung up.  yeah, it's that good.

there are 2 books out there or used to be out there that were written about air america, the 3 letter agencies airline in nam.  one i know isn't out there anymore or at least i don't think so as it was pulled from publication by said 3 letter agency.  finding it would be very well worth your time and money.  i did a number of years ago.  that book would be christopher robbins', 'air america'.   not the sappy crappy movie of the same name but a great book about some very brave men.  he has another book concerning the war in laos, one of the added side attractions to the war in nam.  it's title is, 'the ravens'.  a really good book about some more brave men and their semi secret time in laos.  it's funny it's sad and it is good.

of course then there's michael herr's book, 'dispatches', which probably should be required reading in high school and college history classes.  fat chance of that ever happening.  a bit too real for the suits.  another along the same lines but more in a traditional vein would be james r. ebert's book, 'a year in a life - the american infantryman in vietnam, 1965-1972'.  it pretty much sums up the harrowing life of a grunt.  i'm sure a grunts life hasn't changed much since alexander or hannibal or before.

i can hear you snoring, however, just bear with me. 

there's a newer book that i think is right up there with sheehan's, john paul vann book, and that book would be, 'the cat from hue', by john laurence, an old cbs newsman who covered the vietnam war from 1965 to 1970.   it took him a number of years to get the book done and out but he hits notes pretty much on evey page.  fine writing like all the books mentioned but his sings and plays notes hard to hit, let alone find.

there are more, hundreds more.  maybe i've whetted your appetite for some reading about our recent past.  i hope so.  because you will learn from the reading.  and that's always a good thing.


jmh
]]></description>
      <pubDate>Sat, 16 Feb 2008 10:16:18 -0800</pubDate>
      <guid>http://virb.com/so_calif_native/posts/text/468265</guid>
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