Is it ok to be lonely?
Tonight i'm wondering if it's ok? to be lonely like i am right now. It seems that most days i can survive this world without a companion. But, then there's always those moments that sneak up on you, and out of nowhere take the air out of your lungs. And then there are other times when i just sit around wondering what life would be like with you right next to me. To not have had to go for a walk alone tonight. To not have had to sit on the front porch looking up through that cold sky without you to hold my hands and keep them warm.
I naturally dread these feelings, but maybe i should start welcoming them. Maybe these are what help me to realize I'm real, and this world is real, and the good and the bad are both real, and both deserve my attention. That life isn't something to float through always searching for the easy road, but it's journey is one of struggle and hardship, with a reward that is worth every ounce of pain experienced on the way to the top.
I am and will continue to be lonely tonight. Maybe i'll wake up tomorrow morning and that feeling will be gone. Maybe not. But, honestly who's to say that even if you were here that I wouldn't still be lonely. Maybe loneliness is built into us for a reason, calling us to search for a satisfier beyond this world, beyond what we can touch, see and hear. beyond us. And maybe it's a call to recognize that this isn't all that we were made for. Maybe this isn't even the whole of life.
Maybe this is just training for something bigger.
If you're feeling lonely tonight message me. I'd like to see if I'm the only one out here. I won't be able to satisfy you, but i will listen.

content being unsatisfied
-stephen