I have been absent rather a lot lately. Somewhat unsociable of me considering that this is a respected outpost of internet society. But I had my reasons. No, really! Read on and do try your very best to sympathise...

I am not good at time management. I mean well but I just can't come up with convincing estimates of 'time needed to do essential jobs'. Frankly my guesstimates are wildly optimistic. Wildly. By and large this is of little consequence. Taking an hour to do a small job that I THOUGHT would be done and dusted in 30 minutes is hardly of consequence. However, multiply this mistake up to the nth degree and things get a tad out of hand.

Redecorating the entire house from top to bottom was one such mistake. Not only did I woefully underestimate the time it would take, I also forget to add in extra hours - nay, days! - for missing plasterers and errant paint pots. I revelled in the ease with which I could see myself painting an entire room in 20 minutes. This was a foolish foray into paint pornography. For goodness sake, even cleaning my paint tray took me 20 minutes.

Did I mention my decision to strip off every last shred of wallpaper within my abode? Believe me I have counted every layer. From the shockingly floral to the painted vinyl...all the way back to 1934 when it all started. Good God, how the previous owners loved their wallpaper! So I am now the proud owner of absolutely no automobiles but two strippers. And neither of them are even vaguely erotic.

Considering this brave misadventure all started in January - after an altercation with my fairy lights - it has been a long slog. However, the end is in sight. Did they not say of the First World War that it would all be over by Christmas? It wasn't. This will be. I hope...