Failure is not the type of thing that any of us really like to talk about. No one really jumps at the opportunity to list their weaknesses either. But every once in a while we all have days when our weakness is more evident than we would like it to be and failure stands over us like a magnifying glass over an ant.

A couple of years ago the church I work for, The Chapel, wanted to do something different for Sunday morning. We think it is vitally important for people to be involved in small groups (even more important than Sunday morning worship) and so we thought, "what if instead of having 'normal' worship this week, we just did one big small group?" One thing you should know about our small groups - 90% of them are based on DVD curriculum (several of which we make ourselves). My one job for this Small Group Sunday event was to play the DVD. How much easier can it get? We chose one of our "homegrown" DVD's. I had made it myself. I had used it before. This was a no-brainer situation. I looked forward to such an easy, mindless task. So it never crossed my mind to play the DVD before hand or to have a backup DVD... just in case.

I'm sure you can guess where this is going. The DVD started out okay, but after about 2 minutes the screen froze, the audio sounded like a Max Headroom sample, and everyone turned around and stared at me and with their eyes asked me, "how could you screw up so largely with such a simple task?" Then the video started playing again. The Max Headroom was back. Then the silent question of the people became a vocal question from various points of the room. Certain things in life are truly uncomfortable - your first kiss, your first physical, the dentist - but having 400 people look at you at once and knowing their all thinking the same thing about you is downright unbearable. The DVD finally quit altogether and our Pastor "talked" through what a small group would be. The whole point of the morning was to show people how easy and rewarding it is to be a part of a small group and I had successfully delivered the exact opposite message.

I was literally sick to my stomach. I've never left church (or anywhere) as quickly as I did that day. Later that day I sought refuge in prayer and God really spoke to me very clearly. This is what he said: "Your worth in my eyes is not measured by what you can or cannot do. It is not measured by the amount of success or failure in your day. Your worth is measured by Jesus Christ on the cross - and nothing else."

This was/is a truly freeing statement, and it really has changed my life. That moment of prayer is a defining point of my entire life and each day since then I have thought about God's words to me at that time. As joyful as I was to hear (and believe) what God was saying, I was equally confused. How is that possible? How could you possibly find me worthy of anything? I'm not just talking about messing up a DVD. That's small potatoes compared to the failures in my life no one knows about (and I'd like to keep it that way). God - who knows everything, including my sins, doubts, questions, thoughts, intentions - finds worth in me? I don't understand it. But if I did understand it, I'm not sure it would mean as much to me. Maybe that's the point.

Failure and Weakness is such a big deal to us because Success and Strength is a big deal to us. Success and Strength make us feel competent, purposeful, fulfilled. Failure and Weakness make us feel inadequate, incomplete, empty. We strive so hard, we spend so much time, so much money, trying to "make it," so that we don't have to feel inadequate, incomplete, empty. And that's why it hurts all the more when we fail - we come face to face with the reality that despite our best efforts to succeed, on our own we just are not good enough. On our own we are empty, we are fragile, we are frail, we are weak, we are broken.

This is a good thing, because this can lead to our discovery that we will really only find our worth when we seek it in Christ, who gave himself up for us on the cross. Your worth is measured by Jesus Christ on the cross - and nothing else. Failure can be the best thing that happens if it leads you to discovering this truth.

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