In high school, I once asked a girl's answering machine for a date. My intention was to ask the actual girl out on a date, but she didn't answer. Her answering machine did. Liking this girl was nothing new to me. I had long been infatuated with her, and I had imagined several hundred times the day when I would get the nerve up to actually express my interest in her and take her out on a date. Even before the phone call I had actually practiced the conversation in which I would profess my love for her. Every time I imagined this conversation and every time I practiced it, she always answered. Now it was the actual call, and her machine picked up.

I was immediately ashamed. I could see her in her room, probably screening the call with her answering machine. I panicked and words just started coming out of my mouth. I stammered around for a while, making small talk with the answering machine, then with no warning - actually in mid-sentence - I said, "Will you go out with me this weekend?" Then I panicked again and hung up. It took about 5 minutes before my heart decided not to explode and then I realized that I had never left my name or number or anything. She had no way of knowing who it was that asked her answering machine out.

The whole experience was so stressful for me that I never tried again. I never told her it was me. I went on secretly liking her... hoping one day she might figure out it was me. If she ever knew it was me, she never said anything. Eventually my feeling for her disappeared. I guess thats what happens when you don't take action with your emotions.

I think it can be this way with God. Its a scary thing to surrender - to actually confess to another being that you are weak and you feel a void in your life and you will never be satisfied until you are in a relationship together. The bigger the being, the more frightening the surrender. My panic with this girl was that she might not feel the same. She may not feel a need for me like I feel a need for her. She may not even be aware that I exist. God is no less frightening. He really has no need of anyone. He's perfect and holy all on his own. What could He possibly want with me? And if He doesn't need me, then why should I try to pursue a relationship with Him? It would be easier if He demanded my surrender in person. It would be easier if He would ask for it. It would be easier if He did all the work. Surrender is scary. We don't fear His sovereignty or His judgment or His sovereignty. We fear rejection. If God rejects you, what hope do you have?

Here the truth, friends: God does not need you... but He does choose you and He does want you and He does not screen His calls. Be in awe of the fact that a God who knows no need still desires incomplete, unholy people as ourselves. Let that awe draw you closer to Him every day that you live.