Recently, I have been getting receiving multiple, relentless solicitations from DHL. This is all happening due to the fact that I was the lone shmuck to greet them one day at the office.

I tried to politely inform them of our longstanding relationship with another courier and let them know that we were not interested. The hard sell continued regardless. I have been receiving e-mails, additonal calls, etc. They just don't take "no" for an answer.

Ryan, one of our new employees, has been privvy to all of this DHL harassment. After ranting to him one day about how I was going to lose it if they called again, I received this e-mail below...

From: dhl.ivan@gmail.com
Subject: DHL - Virb
Date: April 25, 2007 4:19:28 PM EDT
To: todd@virb.com

Greetings Todd,

I am thrilled to hear of Virb Inc.'s continued interest in DHL and all we can offer each other! My colleagues inform me that you were not only cordial, but quite excited at the oppertunity of switching from UPS to DHL. Thank you for treating my staff with such respect; it speaks volumes for the professionalism and integrity of Virb.

Now you may be wondering, "why the need for this type of email correspondence over a basic switch of delivery companies?" I'll tell you why... I see the big picture: Virb and DHL together! A collaboration unlike ever before! What we're looking to do: add a DHL widget to the Virb website that plays an animated video clip showing where your package is at that exact moment! What you do: type in your package ID # and the video begins streaming an animated, but live, video feed of the airplane, boat, truck, or whatever vehicle at that time is being used to ship your package. It shows real time location coordinates powered by a satellite in space!

And here is the kicker: if you watch the streaming video until the package arrives at your home, the cartoon video EXPLODES like confetti all over the user's page on Virb and the music from the hit song "Celebration" (minus the lyrics because we were not able to obtain the music rights) begins to play in the background as you... get up from your computer and answer the door for the DHL delivery person! A total, all inclusive, rich media event that goes beyond the boarder and into your homes... literally!

We at DHL feel this opportunity pays for itself in added value to the website, but don't be alarmed... we're giving it to you for FREE! That's right. The widget is not only free, but if you agree to this collaboration, you get 15% off your next delivery payment with DHL. Talk about added value!

(This is what I was going to send you one day before I realized the joke could go afoul in many ways. I hope you enjoy. - RYAN)

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I have to admit... it really made me laugh. He even went to the extent of creating a fake e-mail address. I probably should have realized something was awry when the e-mail address was not a DHL address but my senses were already blurred with frustration. Reading it on a Blackberry, in the slow vertical fashion you have to read on a Blackberry, made it all that more convincing.

The new kid has a sense of humor.