After months of pretending not to care, I finally took the plunge and joined the ranks of dumb looking men staring at their hands while standing in lines, sitting in bars, on trains, in taxis, bathrooms, and next to their significant others (unless those SOs have iphones themselves, then it's two dumb looking people standing next to each other not interacting whatsoever). I could write a whole blog entirely about justifying the purchase, but this would give way more attention to the infernal device than anything deserves. I'd even go so far as to say that because I bought one, I ought to invest some time focusing on whatever constitutes a counterpoint to the iPhone experience, thus ensuring that my existence doesn't become a life support system for some stupid device.

But the fact is that it's a great device, brilliantly designed and far more entertaining than anything that small has a right to be. Which is exactly the problem with it. You want to fiddle with it constantly, when you could be staying present in the moment and enjoying reality as it happens around you. I don't need every second of my idle time to be filled with blinking lights and games, the internet, email or text messaging. Sometimes, I just need idle time to be...idle.

I thought about returning it. I am still thinking about returning it--I have another 27 days to deliberate over whether I'd really be better off with an iPod Touch, or no iPod at all. So far it hasn't made my any better looking, wealthier or healthier. I could argue that it's made my life experience a little more interesting, perhaps even more enjoyable (notably, having a direct link to icanhazcheezburger.com provides some good laughs now and then. I love cats). But the real selling point of the iPhone is convenience.

I can check the internet in places I never knew I needed to check the internet. While I'm pooping, for instance--a moment when my hands are entirely idle (well, most of the time) and I want to be anywhere but where I actually am--or while waiting at a train crossing. I can look up directions while I'm in my car, find out traffic conditions, or best of all (and I'm not kidding) I can look up movie times while out with my girlfriend. I actually do these things, and I find the iPhone to be a hell of a lot better than a google maps printout or scrounging around for a newspaper in downtown Seattle after 9pm.

As a device that brings people together, it has potential. Photos, music, entertainment--these things you can share with the people around you, usually for your mutual benefit. As a device that creates isolation, it's unfortuantely and perhaps inevitably better. The sheepishness I feel when I pull it out in public probably isn't entirely bad--I wish more people felt a similar sense of shame about some of their behavior. Take talking on your bluetooth headset in the grocery store, for instance. I've done it, I'm not proud, but it's awkward for you and everyone else. I see that as both a hardware problem and user error. The right device would allow you to not look as though you were a crazy person talking to yourself, and the right manners would empower you to use good judgment about when it's appropriate to have a high-decibel conversation in public and when it's not.

So, the experience for me is both a gadget investigation as well as an exercise in moderation. Can I enjoy the benefits of a pocket computer without succumbing to every bad habit it enables? I'd like to see the iPhone and its ilk as something not inherently evil. I could have made all the same arguments about cell phones ten years ago and I would have been just as right. And now a decade or two later we see that some of the downsides are valid, as are many of the benefits. In the era of infinite data and always-on technology, I want to stay as acutely aware of what we stand to lose as what we stand to gain.