Ungrateninja

teapartay430.wmv

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 14:39:25 -0700

Countdown-WW-Murdoch-Oreilly.wmv

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 17:49:18 -0700

TDS-Cheney-DickMove.wmv

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 14:57:15 -0700

Four of my favorite pictures

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:25:33 -0700

Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips. Stillwater, OK June 2006

Four of my favorite pictures

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:25:29 -0700

Michael, me, and Holly, best friends. Stillwater, OK April 2006

Four of my favorite pictures

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:25:27 -0700

Me and Carlos, cute picture, New Year's Eve. Lincoln, Nebraska January 2007

Four of my favorite pictures

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 01:25:25 -0700

me and Michael @ my favorite restaurant. Stillwater, OK March 2007

Weekend Creeper

Fri, 16 May 2008 01:46:56 -0700

It's Thursday, I'm over the hump, the weekend is coming and I have not even scratch the surface when it comes to packing my apartment. The living room is a wreck, there are tubs all over the place, it's a little chaotic. But am I worried...absolutely, but not about moving...I'm worried about everything else. Work, assistant ships, the "big" move, love, life, the pursuit of happiness! Well, maybe not that one, but you get what I'm saying. There is a lot of my "food" on my paper plate and I'm not hungry. I mean instead of actually doing work, I am writing this blog...obviously I'm not worried or I just don't care either way it is detrimental to my thinking.

So, what does one do in a time of procrastination? Let me get back to you on that...

Oh, I know, they find ways to fight! FIGHT PROCRASTINATION! I need motivation. I mean, if no one does the work, it just won't get done. Maybe I need a vacation...no that's not it.

Meditation? Relaxation? Beautification?

I got it! I need to focus! I need my handy dandy to-do list! To-do lists are the compasses of organization.

Brandi's To-Do List

Work (you know that thing you get paid to do)
Pack (TONIGHT! You have no life, no one is going to call you to go out!)
Move (think of it as practice for the next one in two months)
Apply (for assistant ships and loans and stuff)
Wax (your eyebrows are huge!)
Haircut (enough said)
Buy gifts (you have two weddings to attend next weekend)
Buy gas (ugh!)
Save money? (Is that even possible?)
Blog (you gotta vent some how)

There that should keep me busy for the next week or so.

Spring Cleaning

Mon, 12 May 2008 11:08:10 -0700

Welcome to my first blog post of 2008. Yeah, I know it's May. School is out for the summer but I still have tons to do and not that much will power at the moment so I decided to write a post. In July...or August...I will be moving to Amherst, MA for graduate school. Honestly, it hasn't fully sunk in that I am leaving. Funny thing about leaving, it is so exciting and such a downer at the same time. I have made friends, memories, and the like that make Lincoln a great place to live. If there was an actual way to grow here professionally I would stay a little longer. However, my dream is to be a university president...and I can't accomplish that in Nebraska. I guess dreams are meant to leave the ones you love behind. Granted, it's not like I am leaving Planet Earth, more like moving to a new neighborhood with new friends, memories, and the like. It's not like I haven't done it before. With three moves in four years (since I graduated college), you think I would be a pro at this. This time though, I have a car and I am not driving it across the country. I'm getting a movers to do it for me. I'm a little more motivated now, so I'm gonna start packing.

Until next time (hopefully sooner than later), Brandi

On the edge...

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 16:45:26 -0800

So...It is the second day of 2008 and I am nervous. I will be sending off my graduate school materials to these two schools tomorrow. I am working on writing an awesome personal statement...one for the ages. I want to let these schools know that I don't plan on dropping the ball and that every move I have made since I was in high school was to get to this moment. I have finally figured out why I love diversity and plan on working with others in that capacity for the rest of my life. Now, I just need to stop shaking and write it. You would think a person with an English degree could do this with more confidence. To be honest, it's nerves but it's also a bum knee and procrastination that keeps me from accomplishing this...but today I will finish this. When I send this off, it could be a new beginning...or it could be heartbreaking. And away we go!

To leave or not to leave, that is the never-ending question

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:57:08 -0800

So, I woke up this morning and was not excited about work. I'm sure we
all have that feeling from time to time, however this time was a
little different. I felt like I need to get out of here. Let me back
up, I don't know if any of you know what I do.

I work at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln as a residence director
for Pound Hall. This is my second year at UNL and I enjoy working
here, but residence life is not my passion. My passion is Social
Justice. Specifically, I really want to work for and with students of
color in the LGBTQI community. Working here in Lincoln, I have been
able to spread my wings a little and work in multicultural, diversity,
and social justice, but I feel that it is second fiddle to my real
job, being a RD. There are ideas I have that I do not have time to put
into action because of my primary responsibilities. There is also the
fact that I do not have a master's degree. I do know I would like to
get a Student Affairs degree that has an emphasis in Social Justice.

So, here is the dilemma. Do I stay at UNL another year or do I go to
another school?

If I stayed at UNL for my third year, I would be able establish a plan
of action for my career goals and I would probably try to work in a
different building so I can have a variety of different res halls
experience. Also, I could save money and not deal with a pay cut. I
did just buy a new car and I started paying car payments this month.
Plus, I still owe OSU some money. However, I do not plan on getting a
master's degree in Nebraska. They have a great Student Affairs
program, but no emphasis on Social Justice.

If I went to another school, it would be a school where I plan on
getting my degree and it would be closer to my passion. I can use the
res. hall experience I have to find a good graduate assistantship. The
payment plan I am under will follow me to whatever job I have, so that
is not a problem. The school I have in mind is the University of
Massachusetts - Amherst. They have a Social Justice Education program.
Other schools of interest are University of Maryland - College Park,
University of Georgia, The Ohio State University, and Colorado State
University.

Hmm, I feel like I have made up my mind while I have been writing
this. I want to leave, I am just really scared. My career goal is to
someday be a president of a university. I want to make sure I am
taking the right steps to that future. I know life is about taking
risk, but at the same time, playing it safe works just as well. Any
advice you think would be helpful, including Brandi you worry too
much, would be appreciated.

If you got this far...you rock! Thanks!

Not Coming Home

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:51:41 -0800

So, I spent Thanksgiving with friends...and I totally enjoyed it! Now, don't get me wrong, I love my family with all of my heart, but I also enjoy being the introvert that I can be sometimes. That may be hard for some of you all who read this to know...but it's true, I enjoy being alone just as much as I enjoy having company. I consider my home (home being where I lay my head) as a sanctuary...I rarely let anyone in to my sanctuary. It doesn't mean I don't like it...it just means I need space. So, the introvert in me loves my family, but if I went home I would be surrounded by people...and I am already surrounded by people up here in Nebraska...besides, it's just Thanksgiving...granted, I will be in Nebraska for Christmas and New Year's...eh, my family is over it...besides I can see my family any time I want...maybe I'll go this weekend or maybe the weekend before semester break...hmm, that's actually not a bad idea. To be honest, if I didn't go see them soon, I won't see the family until Spring Break and let's be honest, I don't want to spend Spring Break in Stillwater...I did it last year and it wasn't that great.

In other news, I went to a wedding on Saturday after Thanksgiving (something I will never do...my football fan in me would never let that happen EVER!). So, on the way up I was talking to my "date",and I use the term very loosly, about how many single friends are left in my group of high school buddies. I counted two me and Rob...who knows if we will ever find mates...well we will but when! I doubt Rob is as worried about it as I am...to be honest, when I was 18, I figured I would be married by now. Heaven forbid I hit 30 and I'm not married. I mean I have students who are married now! I know what you are thinking reader, you will get married you just have to stop looking for it and it will come...I am sure you are right, but honestly I am so tired of hearing that, so just save it. Besides, it's not like I am interested in a Nebraska boy. I don't plan on being here long...another year tops. Then hopefully off to the east coast, away from middle america, and farther away from Stillwater...but hey...maybe if I was far away, I would come home during the Holidays.

Headaches, chest pains, and decisions

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 20:42:33 -0700

So, for those who need an update...I have been getting chest pains, dizziness, headaches and the like for a while. So, I went to the doctor, I am glad to say that nothing is wrong with me...well, my cholesterol is "mildly elevated but not worriesome" I just need to watch my diet and exercise regularly. So, then I went to see a counselor because I feel that these are anxiety attacks. He didn't diagonse with me Anxiety Disorder, but he does believe that have anxiety issues. So, we are working through them...he has given me orders. Order 1. watch my diet and exercise regularly. Order 2. Focus on my career goals. Order 3. Men mess up plans, give them a rest. Order 4. If I get a panic attack, take deep breaths.

I must say, the deep breaths are working...order 4 accomplished. The hardest thing right now is order 1 & 2. Work is keeping me occupied, but I will stop making excuses and do it. As for order 3, that has been the easiest one. I have figured out that I can hang out with guys and not be attracted to them.

For those who are wondering what's bringing on the panic attacks...let's just call it a quarter life crisis. I'm 26 and I don't feel accomplished in anything and I feel that I could die soon. (I know what some of you are thinking, you're not gonna die...and I say to you, you don't know that). My counselor is freakin' amazing, he understands where this (especially the fear of death) is coming from...it's coming from my Christian upbringing. When I was a kid, I was so in love with God, but growing up, I didn't find him in my church...all i found was hypicritical people. Also growing up I was always taught that if you don't follow the way we do things, you're gonna go to hell. I think I am getting away from those people now. The church I go to is way different than the one I grew up and I enjoy it.

So, I am finding God again, the one I knew when I was a kid. Next, I need to find my self-esteem. My counselor told me that he thinks I am shy and have low self-esteem...anyone from Oklahoma is probably laughing right now...but he's right. My social life is okay, my friends are my co-workers, I spend Saturday night watching tv...it is SO SAD! At least in Hays, Kansas, I had all these things going for me. I need to find that in Lincoln. Okay, that's part 1...here's part 2.

I am going to get a membership at the YMCA. This will accomplish two things, Order 1 and maybe I will meet people outside of work. I have decided to stay in Lincoln one more year (unless something really awesome happens) and focus on getting into grad school Fall 09. I want to be in grad school on the east coast. I really need to be around a little more liberal crowd. This will accomplish order 2 and 3...I'm pretty sure that I would like to live on the east coast, and most east coast boys want to stay there...same goes for Nebraska boys...they like to stay in Nebraska.

Long story short...I'm lost and tired of worrying about finding myself...instead, I am going to enjoy the journey. I'll keep you up to date with...things.

Mark Ronson - Oh My God

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 03:48:05 -0700

Who's hotter? Lily Allen or Jessica Rabbit?

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:07:34 -0700

Chocolate Rain

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 15:43:15 -0700

Catchy Song with a message.

Tay Zonday is Rick Astley

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 15:43:15 -0700

Can't Fight This Feeling...

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:31:29 -0700

It takes 30 days to make a habit...how many days does it take to break one? I looked it up. Here's what I found. http://www.wikihow.com/Break-a-Habit This is really for the small habits like biting nails and sucking thumbs. I need to find out how to break the habit of catching "the feeling". So, I looked up how to fight the feeling...all I got was Aretha Franklin and REO Speedwagon. According to them, I can't fight the feeling. So, I go back to finding out how to break a habit. http://anxietyanddepression-help.com/habit.html This site says addictions and thoughts are habits. I don't think "the feeling" makes me depressed or anxious, at least not right away. http://www.mindpub.com/art417.htm This site asks me why I want to break the habit. That is a good question...I think it's because as good as it feels in the beginning, I become more miserable in the end.

It makes me hate myself, something that I really don't like doing. Hmmm. I'm done thinking about this. "The feeling" no longer exist.

Bobby Light - Dirty Girl

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:13:39 -0700

You're a DIRTY GIRL!

Beatboxing Flute

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 20:00:37 -0700