When I reflect on my life. My passion is that my life make much of Christ. That my life be a life that is worthy of much honor. A great epic story. One where Christ is the main character and I only a supporting actor. I want to die with a legacy of leaving an impacting mark of the Gospel at every stop along this journey. I must admit I fail at this goal most of the time.

In saying those things, tonight we talked about Eph 5. Wives and Husbands. To be honest, I don't know if I will marry. When I look at the goals for my life, I see marriage as a 'maybe' at best. I have longings for a husband. I wonder if these longing are mostly selfish and have little to do with a guy or with God being glorified. People always ask me, " So, anyone special in your life?" And for the past 5 years the answer has pretty much been the same. When I talk about being single people always asure me that I will get married. I am not sure why? It is because I'm awesome or normal or just because they like me and hope those things for me. I don't know.

This brings me to Eph 5. I am praying that I become this kind of women. I confess. I tend to be a very independent strong women. I will take leadership over a situation very quickly if need be. I have been convicted through this passage that I tend to "neuder" guys with my feministic ways. I don't allow men to be men. This is something I am working on. When I read Eph 5 I want to be treated this way. I desire to be loved and valued this way. I desire to submit under the leadership of a man who is an Eph 5 man.

Which brings me to 1 Sam 11 & 1 Sam 31:11. The men of Jabesh Gilead. This is kind of man I am praying for. A valiant man willing to risk all for the glory/honor of the King. (Go read the Spy Game Post)