Int.- Dirty, cluttered apartment

A man is sitting in his underwear, watching tv. Then, he hears a window break in his bedroom. Underwear Man walks to his bedroom to see what all of the commotion is. He first sees glass shattered all over the floor.

Underwear Man: (Looking at the glass covered floor) Ugggggg! Now I have to put on my sandals...

Underwear man then looks past the glass to see that his sandals are all the way on the other side of the obstacle.

Underwear Man: Nooooooo!! Now what am I going to do? (Looks around, pondering; trying to think of a solution. His eyes happen to glance over to the kitchen, where he sees his big, dumb, olive colored fridge.) Hmmmmm....that givees me an idear-sa-frear. (walks over to fridge and scratches his big, dumb beard)

Cut to:
The fridge slams to the ground, covering the glass; but he forgot to take anything out of the fridge. The Door busts open with food containers bursting open, creating a huge mess. Underwear Man doesn't even seem to notice the mess he just made.

Underwear Man: Yeah! Take that, stupid glass! Now I can get my sandals! (walks on top of fridge and puts on sandals. He sits on his bed to ponder for a moment, then looks at last nights leftovers left all over the floor.) Oh no! How did this happen!? That reminds me, I need to go and get some more milk. (Underwear Man throws on a robe and whistles as he exits his apartment)

Ext.- New York City

Underwear man continues whistling "99 Luft Balloons" as he strolls down the street with a bit of a skip in his walk. He skips into a pile of dog turd that some hippy probably refused to clean up.As soon as he realizes what happend, he stops whistling. He looks down at his sandal and sees that the poo somehow managed to get in between his toes. He isn't phased. He knows he needs more milk, and stepping in dog doo-doo makes him even more determined. He continues to whistle and walk with a nice little skip in his step.

Int. 7-11

Underwear Man walks into the 7-11 and starts to go to the cold beverages area. A man (about 21 yrs old) stops him in his tracks. He is dressed like a dumb uber-emo person.

Emo Dummy: Wait.....are you, like, looking for milk?

Underwear Man: Uhhhhhh, yeah. I guess. I don't know. Probably. I mean, maybe. Or something...

Emo Dummy: This is totally, like, bizarr-o or something. I had a dream with you in it last night. I remember the dream felt like a Tuesday that was on fire from gasoline or something. It was totally sad and it made me happy. Ya know?

Underwear Man: I'm just trying to buy some milk...

Emo Dummy: Yeah, I know. That's what you were doing in the dream. But, like, what's your name?

Underwear Man: Why do you want to know? Is it ummmmmmm......important information or something?

Emo Dummy: I guess. You totally don't have to tell me, but you should definitely tell me.

Underwear Man: It's..

A goofy, dumb, hippy-trashy, homeless looking man runs in between the two, interrupting Underwear Man from giving his answer.

Underwear Man: (extremely aggitated) I hate hippies. (Takes off poo sandal and throws it at Hippy Trash) I think your dog left that! (The sandal hits Hippy Trash right in the back of the head. Hippy Trash falls to the floor, slowly gets up, then continues to run out.)

Emo Dummy: That sandal had poop on it.

Underwear Man: Yeah. I hate dogs......and all of the hippies that own dogs. (grabs milk from cooler, opens it, then takes a huge mouthful of it. He then swirls it around in his mouth before spitting it all over the candy bars and Slim Jim's). I'm outta here. (Puts milk back in cooler and walks out)

To be continued...