I keep trying to keep busy, I try to think of other things . . . though I know I can't avoid the truth, and the feelings, I am doing my best to focus elsewhere. Still, the calendar is there. Still, friends and family keep reminding me.

Thanks for your kind thoughts, I know your hearts are truly in the right place. I just don't like being constantly reminded - and constantly forced to deal with it and converse about it. I don't want to have to say "Thanks" for bringing up the fact that my daughter died. I don't want to have to tell you "I'm fine" because I don't really know that that is true right now. I don't know how I feel - I just know I don't feel like having a dialog about something that is still painful.

So, please, I love you and I know you love me. We all grieve in our own way, in our own time, and with our own degree of social interaction. I just would ask that you let ME set my agenda for dealing with this every year.