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Lyrics

For so long I've tried, I've tried to end this
Bullshit trip we call existence
You'll never see me standing in the hall right behind you
Eyesight fighting to see, let me remind you
Of the pain that I claim as my everything
With one brain to one man is my plan
I'm taking anything that I can get
Or better yet, I'm creating the rest of this test
So just flex my mind, if I could only find
Something sharp, something powerful
Like a power tool or a chemical
Burning me with energy
Save it for the effigy right now I'm besting me
One up from the last time, it's the rest who bleed out
While I never run dry
Steady supplying myself with the clout to dismember my life
Just one piece at a time
I'm not feeling alright
I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok
So please don't go away
Cuz I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok

It started with my finger, for just a little joke
I wrapped it in a towel, then I smashed it 'till it broke
The pain being everything, it's an exciting thing
The next stop... I dunno, I'm game for anything
I throw myself on the floor and proceed to pound my face on the ground
Something fierce
My ears pierced by the sound of bones cracking aloud
Taking the smacking to a different definition
Explosions of pain erupting in my brain for every pin in it's position
Tapped in just right with a little bit of might and not alot of fight
They slide right in, awaking me again
With pain as your friend you need no enemies
Just remedies, or another entity to bring it all down the same way
I'm not ok
What can I say I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok
So please don't go away
Cuz I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok

I'm not ok, I'm not fucking around
Choking down mouthfulls of blood as I drown
As I drown
I realize what we can never see
You're alive when you hurt
You're only dead when you breathe
A reprive achieved with no sympathy
I won't let them get the best of me
I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok
So please don't go away
Cuz I'm not ok

I know I'm not ok