i am the vickster

me

Fri, 04 May 2007 11:14:18 -0700

still me

Fri, 04 May 2007 11:14:17 -0700

pink dreds

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:42 -0700

at smith college

mum

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:39 -0700

mi madre

cats in the sink

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:37 -0700

dylan and rusty

aw.

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:36 -0700

look, we actually do go out together outside of Bellevue!

the big red A

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:34 -0700

voila.

tankgirl2

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:33 -0700

more halloween

tank girl

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:31 -0700

halloween 2001? at smith college

dory

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:29 -0700

rusty

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:27 -0700

don't be fooled by that look of innocence

rusty nose

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:22:20 -0700

dylan and rusty kissing

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:19:45 -0700

kiki

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 18:19:37 -0700

on top of the light in the kitchen

haha, a year?!?

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 19:06:35 -0800

i was exploring my old livejournal and found this poem i wrote awhile ago. it makes me smile. oh. but if only it would thunderstorm and i were camping. to lay there bared to the elements reminded of my inconsequential miniscule life. to feel the bang and groan in my bones. to see the flash of the lightning through the rain fly and for just a second to be worried about such a silly thing as getting wet.

a reflection

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 13:25:44 -0800

because i was out of whisky and wine, my usual evening tipples, and decided to do what he used to do, in fact with most of the same alcohol and mixers that he had, 3 and a half years ago. i created some concoction that tasted an awful lot like grape koolaid or something, and it made me smile. i've also been thinkin about him more lately because he's finally starting to come back around to the guy he used to be. it's really nice to see. it doesn't change how i feel about him and our past, but it'll definitely make it easier for us to be friends, and it'll be easier for him to find a nice girl to fall in love with. everybody deserves that, and i especially think he does. this Christmas seems like it's been approaching for a long time, but at the same time seems like it's popped up out of nowhere. i never got around to decorating the coffeeshop, and only just today starting playing christmas music. i have no plans for the big day at all, except to try to throw together some kind of dinner thing at my new place. alex's dad arrives today to stay for a week or so. i'm really excited to meet him. i hope we like each other as much as alex's mom and i do. so i think he'll be with us for our christmas festivities, whatever they may be. i'm just so happy that i have a tree this year, and space for my cats to run around, i don't really care if i don't get any presents. i couldn't afford to buy anyone else any this year anyway, so it's hardly fair for me to get some. alright, enough disjointed rambling. it's taken me almost an hour to write this since i'm at work, i keep coming over and writing a couple sentences and then wandering away again. (can't you tell? ha) anyway, a very merry christmas and happy new year to all of you, and if you're a real-life friend of mine, please come to my swanky new year's soiree at the coffeeshop. bring your own booze, but food will be here. 9pm.

eeps. sorry for the lapse.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 12:38:06 -0800

So last night I worked with Dean (my new roomie) at a catered party over in Point Breeze. holy shit talk about nice houses. The people hosting this party were really nice, so I feel slightly bad about the 8 or so bottles of wine we pilfered that are sitting on our kitchen counter. But hey, we're poor and we like to drink. They won't notice. They have plenty more leftovers, and we had to work for 5 hours around these people that were stuffing their rich faces when we hadn't eaten any dinner. Goddamn that salmon looked so good. At 9pm or so I couldn't take it anymore and managed to palm a roll and snuck outside to stuff my face. That helped a lil. It was kinda fun though, the hosts were really sweet and most of the party guests were nice. I seriously almost smacked a couple hands though. These people would stand in the kitchen while the poor chef was trying to finish cooking the dinner and they're eating the hors d'ouevres OFF THE COOKING TRAY instead of waiting for me to bring out another plate that they could take it off of. The chef was going nuts and it was rather entertaining to watch. He was funny. Total flirt by the end of the night, after he'd snuck two of the open bottles of wine outside for him to chug. Silly boy. Of course Dean was being a jerk and totally egged him on and kept ostentatiously hitting on me too, but he didn't mean it....anyway, it was a pretty fun night, got a $25 tip and $15/hr, so maybe I'll have the money for rent next month! yay! Speaking of my new apartment, it's gonna look so great as soon as we finish painting...it's nearly there. just have to finish the trim. As soon as it's done there will be pics. I'll probly try to finish arranging my room today while they're watching the stillers, and then work on the trim tonight, once Dimmy comes over to help. Hope y'all are well. And Merry Christmas if I don't post again before that. :-)

heh.

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 00:51:50 -0700

why am i always surprised when i end up not being able to depend on anyone else? i am so tired of always getting left on my own to clean up the mess (metaphorically as well as literally). i'm tired.

Two Proust quotes for you...

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 19:53:55 -0700

"There were no beautiful spectacles except the ones which I knew were not artificially contrived for my pleasure, but were necessary, unchangeable -- the beauties of landscapes or of great art." "Nature seemed to me the thing most opposite to the mechanical products of men. The less is bore their imprint the more room it offered in which my heart could expand."

history, religion, and government.

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 01:46:22 -0700

and it just got me thinking more and more about how much america has changed from what it was supposed to be. i think we've done a fair job of maintaining the separation of religion and government, but the overall function of the government has become far too centralized. there were never supposed to be federal agencies governing education and libraries and roads and all that. that should all be private. but what really got me going was talking about religious history, and how organized religion has been such a trial to the people of this world. why is it that humans think the only way they can communicate on the same level is if they have the same religious beliefs? why do they think that morals have to be tied to some mystical being/powers? why can't the morals and principles be tied into the government, as it should be? you can't base a community or a country on something as vague as spiritual beliefs. it just isn't logical. don't get me wrong, i think spiritual beliefs are really important to personal happiness. but some obscure idea that you've heard 32nd hand from some preacher/teacher/role model is hardly something to live your life by. are people that insecure that they have to take someone else's word for it? why can't you just think what you think, and go with it until your experiences make you change your mind? isn't that how you live the rest of your life? i don't mean to criticize people whose religion is important to them. i understand that it's tied into tradition and comfort...in a way, that makes sense to me. but i just have a real problem with people who think the thing they believe in is the ultimate Truth. no one can ever know that. there's just too much we don't know, about life, the universe, and everything! (hee) so what's the rush to try to define it, set rules to it, and live by some standards that don't even necessarily apply to your life? sure it's safer, but is that really a good goal to have? who wants to live a safe life? ok, stupid question. lots of people do. just not me, i guess. and that's bound to change as i get older, but that's exactly why i feel so strongly about it all. as you mature, your ideas about EVERYTHING change, so how hypocritical is it to keep picking the religion that fits right now, instead of trusting in your own ideas and concepts? i know for a fact that i don't know what i'm talking about. but i don't believe that anyone else does, either. i'm not going to take someone else's word for it and maybe that's egotistical of me, but i guess that's just what i am. i'll do what i think is right and best for the time, and keep in mind that i don't like to hurt people, so i will try to do right by others as well. but i don't need to be justified by some authority figure to know that that is the right thing to do. i just have such a hard time believing that humans are so emotionally weak as to think that they need reassurance from someone else in order to THINK what they're doing is right or wrong. yah that definitely sounds scathing and egotistical, which is not what i mean. i just wish people would think for themselves more often. on that note, g'night.