There it rests heavily on my shoulder, growing ever more burdensome by the day. The inevitable reality of the future — even though I don't know the exact outcomes, I know the exact realities and I don't want to fall over the edge. To be lost and left behind; to slide onto the ground. It's easy to be consumed by what hasn't happened yet. The burden of time is a stone, and by grace it will slide onto the ground and not take me with it.

I feeling every bit of my burden, but its an unnecessary weight. Time. The future. As I see my parents aging and simultaneously crumbling under their own issues, I feel myself needlessly drug into the inevitable future. The awkward holidays. The need to figure out who will care for them. The possiblity of courts and lawyers and heresay and battle after battle over the fact that two people made a vow, made a mistakes, and no longer know how to deal with themselves. The endless questions from our kids about how this happened and will it happen to us (Sonya and I). Forfeiting the confines of ingorance for an unfortunate truth; not everything is as it seems and people fail. The unknown amount of collateral damage. But none of this has happened, nor necessarily will; but I've created the burden. And I carry it heavily.

We all carry burdens. Our stones. Sometimes we pass our stones unnecessarily onto others. Sometimes we empathetically take on the stones of others. Sometimes we just hold them and hold them, until eventually they become to heavy and we fall. Fortunately life isn't meant to be lived alone, but as a community. We have to share our burden, not as a means to dump them all onto someone else, but to share just enough to give ourselves a rest. We also need to be willing to help ease the load (by listening, caring, helping) of others who find themselves exhausted.

How are you carrying your stones?